Where ya been???

I know... I know... bad blogger... let's move on. What's new!

So much has happend since we spoke last. A dear friend of mine and my husband's after 20 years of living out west has moved back home, and in with us. I've missed him dearly. And yes, we moved around a lot too with Alan being in the military, but to have him here now is just fantastic.

Robin Williams killed himself, which traumatized me to my core. I had enjoyed his work since I was about 7 or 8 and followed his highs and lows right through most of my life. It is a tragic loss that he is gone, and I still have as of yet to watch any of his movies or interviews. 

Most recently a very long time friend of mine decided she no longer wanted to be friends. To be honest, I'm still sort of reeling about this when I stop to think about it. I feel her reasons behind "unfriending" me were completely school yard and infintile. She called our friendship "a farce" which was more than a little harsh and to be honest I suspect said to hurt me more than anything. I honestly believe it was out of sheer jealousy of other friendships I have. Instead of talking it out like a mature adult, she elected to unfriend me on Facebook and not tell me. She waited (I'm certain) to see if I would notice. Clearly, I did. I'm willing to accept my fault and failure in the demise of our friendship, but I refuse to accept her part. That onus is on her, not me. Although I was surprised at how many people came forth after the fact and have either said "I never really did like her...We only put up with her because of you" or "I never understood your friendship you are such an up person, and she is just... not".  Does this mean I wish her ill will? Of course not. We were friends for many years. This isn't the first time our friendship has come to an end, it's actually the third and likely the last. I will miss her, and her beautiful family... but it is out of my hands and beyond my control. I don't want her to be in a friendship with me if she honestly believes she isn't welcome or her friendship isn't wanted (completely untrue). But in the end, it her her choice, and I wish her well.

On a COMPLETELY different school of thought...

I had two distinct dreams last night. Both so completely vivid and real that I have been borderline obsessed with the details all day. The sights, sounds and even textures surrounding me. I find; more often than not; that I live for these sort of dreams. And I try to remember as much of the dream as possible. Faces, voices, surroundings. Are they past lives? Buried memories? I don't know. Whatever the case, I find them fascinating.

In the first one I can remember that I was in a long, almost mint green dress with white bibbing. The dress was heavy, weighted, it had a texture I can still feel under my fingertips even now that I'm awake. And for some reason, I was standing on a balcony with a shot gun at the ready. I had it lifted, aimed and even fired off a couple of shots which hit their mark with deadly accuracy. It was dark out, raining. But I'm uncertain if it was dark out because it was twilight or if it was dark out because of the rain, or a bit of both. I wasn't alone. There was someone with me, a man, whom I have no idea who it was with any certainty. I have my suspicions but without recalling a face or a definitive voice, I have nothing. I do recall a discussion about me steadying my shot. But again, I don't recall a definitive voice that I can lean back on to help me remember.

The second one wasn't so much about me per se, but seeing an object that has me fixated to the point of “Googling” is just off the wall... even for me. I dreampt I was in a house (not mine, nor anyone that I have been in – not in this life time anyway as far as I can recall). And against an entrance wall there was a small settee. I can remember it was gold painted with spindle legs with black contour painted in the gold filigree. The cushion was a muted aquamarine blue with gold pattern on it. Scroll and fleur de lis comes to mind, although I'm not 100% certain on that – I suspect it is correct. It was a small understated piece and yet, I was fixated and still am. I know I was knelt down at one point in front of it, staring at it like it was an old friend. I had that much of a connection with this piece of furniture. Like it was mine, or had been. I know I was glad to see it still kicking around and pleased it hadn't been gotten rid of.... even though it wasn't mine. I can remember asking “Where did this come from?” as I dragged my fingertips over the wood. “I've seen it before” I can remember saying as well. Although I know my waking self, has not. I can recall being asked “Are you just going to fawn over that all day, or are you coming?”. I replied “I'm coming...” But I have no recollection where I was going to. Was it the fleur de lis pattern on it that had me fixated or something else? I'm really not sure.

Anyway kids, there you have it. That's about all that's new with me worth a mention. I am well, I hope you are too going into this festivus season. Stay warm, stay safe... until next time...

One Last Glimpse,

~K