Early morning ramblings

I've been writing again...but not on the things I had been working on, but new things. I guess with spring comes new inspirations. I've now got 5 or 6 things on the go; some have REAL potential to be... SOMETHING; some are just little snippets or "visual" writings. (A "visual" writing is something written in a manner so graphic you can't help but see the entire thing in your imagination. I term is widely used in the fan fiction genre -- mostly used for characters having sex with one another. Something over the years I've become VERY good at...LOL -- *cough* "the story" *cough (if you don't know what "the story" is... remind me to enlighten you sometime). Although with my newly found free time (not working) -- that's okay to have so many things on the go.. I guess I can take care of that. I'm hoping at some point I'll finish...SOMETHING and have it published. Maybe before my 50th. Maybe that should be my goal. Maybe I'm expecting it to come far faster than it should. The writing, not my 50th....Just to be clear.

I'm still speaking to the person I hadn't been speaking to, but am now speaking to again at least via FB. So, I guess that's something positive. We've got a long, long way to go to have any semblance of a healthy friendship - but I suppose talking is a step towards that. But -- both parties have to be willing. And I am...with reservation - but, I still don't know if she is. And maybe she doesn't know. I don't have that answer. Out of all our friendship faults, and our own faults... she's been there at times I've needed her. I can't dispute that fact. Has our friendship always been a healthy one? No. I can't dispute that fact either. Was she always to blame? No, I did my fair share of things to hurt and harm our friendship over the years. Could I have tried harder? Sure, who couldn't. Could she? Yes. Of course. I guess at the end of the day, after sinking 20+ years into a friendship I'm just not willing to let it go without a fight. We're still vastly different people at the end of the day, but if it doesn't work out...at least I'm able to say I did EVERYTHING to try to sort this shit out.

I'm running on about 3 hours sleep today, no real reason for my random wake up in the middle of the night. Although I'd wager it has something to do with the cats. They just seem to infiltrate the bed and take it over.  I can't speak for later, but currently I'm not tired. In fact, quite the opposite. I'm awake, cheerful and alert. I don't know how I'll be come noon, but for now... I feel pretty damn good. Could I possibly be becoming a *gasp* MORNING person???

Nahhhh.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Happy Easter

I've got the makings for yet another story into the fire. I don't know if I can keep up this pace though. The last few days I feel like I'm "en pointe" twenty four seven. Like, I don't know how to turn the muses off. I'm loving the positive creative energies but sometimes I feel like my brain is scattered and I'm being pulled in multiple directions at once. Last night was the first time I've slept well in days. Like all the muses are speaking at once, vying for attentions for each different writing. New writings. And they're good. They're very good. At least, I think so. I suppose only time will tell.

I spoke to my former friend (what a stupid way to have to put it) via FB this week because her Aunt had passed away. I wouldn't have been me had I not extended my condolences to her. We spoke back and forth a little and now it's all gone to radio silence again. I'd be lying if I didn't say I missed speaking to her, but I'm not going to rehash things that she isn't, can't or won't help me fix. I am unwilling to accept responsibility for things that are NOT my fault. Friendship is a two way street and I have been more than willing to be accommodating in my changing. We are still ever tragically locked at a stalemate, and I don't think that's going to be fixed anytime soon. And maybe that's the way things are meant to be, remaining on the fringes of each others lives. I wish her peace and to be well.

I spent a LOVELY afternoon yesterday (rather unexpectedly) with my dear BFF. We went and had our nails done, and even bought matching purses (different colours). I know, it's silly -- but we had a great time. We always do. She'd been away on vacation, so catching up was just what we both needed I think. I know I sure did! I'm feeling rejuvenated today and I'm fairly sure she's part of the reason behind it. I missed her terribly while she was away. Even though we texted everyday, we missed our weekly ritual of going out to lunch. It was nice to get back into the groove.

Anyway, looking forward to spending some time with family this weekend. The weather seems to be warming up (FINALLY) and I hope that each of you have a lovely weekend. 

Happy Easter (if you celebrate). If not... happy weekend!

One Last Glimpse,

~K