Friday, 31 August 2012

The end of the tour...doesn't mean the end.

Tomorrow I would have been getting up and heading out for Orillia for the final show in the "All You Need is Now" tour. I would have been meeting up with my Duranie Sisters (Some for the first time). Honestly, it would have been one hell of a party. Not just for us, but for them. I think the air and energy would have been electric, and we would have made them work for every ounce and inch of our excitement. But alas, due to illness of our dear Controller; Nick Rhodes; the tour came to an abrupt and sudden halt. Apparently, even though he "comes from Outer Space man.." he's not completely impervious to becoming ill and exhaustion.

I understand that they are disappointed, it's completely understandable. They were in the midst of riding this wave of success, and suddenly it crashed mid-crest. It must feel like a void and unfinished. I feel for the guys. I really do. It must feel incomplete and anti-climactic. And I'm sorry for that. Oddly and strangely enough, although I'm disappointed...I'm okay with it.  When they started cancelling dates, I would have been surprised had ours gone forward. Truthfully, if someone isn't well, I'd rather they be getting the care they need than run the risk of further illness and possible permanent damage. I felt the same way when Simon was ill at the beginning of the tour, and I feel the same way now. Dates can be rescheduled, band members are not so easily replaceable...especially these band members.

I do however find it strangely ironic that the tour ended the way it began. But I'm glad that they're wise enough to do the right thing. After 18 months of touring, 104 gigs played, many a new dear friend made and a life time of memories, at least I can say I got my one gig. Finally. It may be the end of the tour, however it's far from the end. I look forward with anticipation to the next go around, whenever that may be. When they're ready, we will be also. Arms up-stretched, hearts full, and ready to party with the band designed to make you do just that.

One Last Glimpse,


Monday, 27 August 2012

A hard day

A very dear friend of mine has a younger sister (3 or 4 years younger) who is dying from cancer. Inwardly, I am distraught. I have known this beautiful creature since she was 12 or so, I was there for her first boyfriend, first heartbreak, first period. I have watched her go from a shy girl, into a beautiful young woman full of life and sass, into a beautiful grown woman married with children of her own. And now slowly, painfully and savagely her life, dignity and spark is being ripped from her.

I would probably describe Adrienne as elven or pixie like in nature. There's something magical about her and it's a tragedy something as evil as cancer is squashing such an existence. I'm not saying she's perfect. I'm not saying that she's saintly. I'm just saying how unbelievably unfair, cruel and inhumane life can be. But I guess sometimes life's just like that whether we want it to be or not.

I remember when we were growing up she was quiet and painfully shy when she was young but playful in her nature. It was/is an honour to have watched her grow up into such a beautiful woman.

She now has two beautiful children (Gavin and Gracie) who will have very few memories of their mother as they are so young. With the exception of photo graphs it's up to those who know and knew her to keep her memory alive for those children when she is gone. It's the best thing we could ever do to share our memories of her, and pass them on to her children.

If she must go, and cannot fight, survive and beat this thing...I hope she goes quickly. Her body and spirit has been through so much and honestly doesn't deserve to suffer.

My heart breaks for Jeff (my friend) who has had to watch from a distance - he lives in British Columbia, his young, vivacious, beautiful baby sister slowly be ravaged by this horrid disease. He is here now, with his sister as she lives her final hours out. His parents who seem to be of no help whatsoever, whom you'd think would be a unified front are disjointed, disharmonious, and have elected to be a negative force towards each other (they divorced many years ago) instead of standing by their daughters bedside while she passes. My husband and I; as well as Jeff's other friends; have been Jeff's only real support and more family to him in these moments, than his own.

Always tell those you love that you love them. Always treasure the memories you make. And never hold a grudge. Life is just too short.

With a heavy heart and tear stained face...

One Last Glimpse,


Monday, 6 August 2012

Once more into the fray: Duran on Tour

Duran Duran starts their FINAL leg of the "All You Need is Now Tour" in North America on August 8th in California at Saratoga's beautiful Mountain Winery (Click here for more info and tickets of the final leg of the tour). It's been a long road for the guys and Duranies alike; but it's been a journey we Duranies have most definitely enjoyed; and I'm pretty sure, although tired, the guys have enjoyed themselves as well.

As for me...I'm back to that all too familiar '25 days and counting' feeling that I had this past October with this September 1st show approaching. I am just as excited today as I was back then and I'm fairly confident if its my first show or my twenty first show I'm going to be excited when I think about it. (For the record, while I've been a fan of Duran Duran for 30 years, this will only be my second show).

Maybe it's a "chick thing" and my husband doesn't or won't ever get it. And truthfully I think it's common for most men. It's not that he doesn't like Duran, he does (The Reflex is his favourite song). But then I liken it to my husband to his Star Wars obsession and he nods in understanding. Duran Duran to me is what Star Wars is to him. And he gets it.

So I'm doing the whole same repetitious thing I was doing last year, I'm thinking about what I'm going to wear, what I'm going to do with my hair (that has DRASTICALLY changed from last fall) and exactly what the hell I WOULD say if I were to meet John. I actually wrote a letter too him not too long ago just in case I can't manage to get the words out. Yep, that's right...a fan letter. Kickin' it old school kids. It's just that I don't want to stand there like an idiot and say nothing. I've been in that position with someone famous and I felt like a moron afterward. Would he read it? Who knows.

With my weight loss added into the mix, I've revised what I was going to wear to the show...and may have to do so again once the end of the month rolls around depending on if my pants still fit or not. If they don't I may just have to make a 'dreaded' trip to get myself a new pair of pants to wear. The abject horror of it all.

My friend Rachel keeps asking me if Alan (the DH) knows what he's got himself into taking us to the show and I'm fairly confident he does. I'm pretty sure he's ready to see a bunch of 20-40somethings lose their freakin minds over quite arguably the best band/group/act from the 1980's on the final night of what has been the "tour of the superlatives" so sayeth the band.

It will be memorable, amazing and I look forward to every scream, cheer, note, chord, beat, thrum, and tear.

Bring on "A Diamond in the Mind", I'm ready to feel my heart in my throat and the swell of pride like I felt back in October. Bring on that #Duranlive one more time for this tour, I am ready to find myself in the moment once more.

One Last Glimpse,


Friday, 3 August 2012

Confession is good for the soul

 This post is about the last few conscious moments I had with my Mom before she passed. They are some of the most bitter sweet moments I have ever had in my life. At the time I think I looked about this moment as tragic, but now I look upon it as one of the purest gifts my Mother could have ever possibly given me.

I remember a few days before my Mom passed away I was sitting in her hospital room during my "watch". At this point my Mom was pretty out of it, they had her fairly medicated as she was in pain a lot of the time, and therefore she slept a lot. When she did wake up it was rare, few and far between and usually didn't last long.

She woke up at one point, saw me...said my name in recognition. She had a cognitive moment that there had been a "change of the guard" and the person who had been there when she fell asleep wasn't the person who was there now. She nodded in affirmation to herself as she struggled to find a comfortable position to lay. That's not easy in a hospital bed, while hooked up to machines while your body is betraying you.

She turned to me suddenly in a lucid moment asking me if I had anything I wanted to tell her. Was she looking for an untold truth? She smiled and chuckled to herself as if having a private laugh, a joke only she was privy to. She said to me in a soft voice that I barely recognized "I'm not looking for a confession of your sins. I'm sure not going to tell you mine." What sins I wondered?? I sat confused looking at her, both of us near tears. Finally I mumbled out "Just that I love you".

In retrospect there was nothing more I could say. Nothing more I had to or wanted to. Out of all the things that I could have said in that moment...I'm glad I chose those words. They were some of the last I said to my Mom when she was conscious. I said other things to her, that I'm sure she heard before she passed...but those were some of the last ones that she reciprocated, and nothing will ever change that. The memory now is bitter sweet and one of my most precious ones. Never be afraid to tell those you love most that you love them. In the long run, no matter what the won't regret it in the end.

One Last Glimpse,