I often wish there was another way to get the thoughts out that race and trample through my mind. Romantic notions, memories, ideas, inspirations, desperations and too the silent prayer to some unseen deity that truthfully I'm not even certain if he/she/it exists or not...although I don't believe so. I don't speak to anyone in particular during a silent prayer – more like expelling hopes and wishes to the universe for them to be heard by....someone. Some thoughts I'm certain sound completely mental, but sometimes if I don't get them out I feel as if I could burst. Even if they're ramblings such as these are.
I get images of faces, and sometimes even cognitive thoughts I don't recognize and yet – I feel as if I know the faces I'm seeing. Faces that come to me in dreams, along with them feelings of comfort. Are these past lives/family/loves? They say you cannot dream of someone you've never seen before. Is that true? That seems very odd to me. The mind and imagination is so vast – and that statement and notion of only being able to dream of ones you've seen seems limiting. I don't like to be limited and restricted. It doesn't suit me well at all. I think I've felt that more so later in life than in my earlier years.
I believe in past lives, I always have. To me, there's more proof to reincarnation than not. And often I wonder if these faces, these feelings are those past memories surfacing - even ever so briefly for me to capture a glimpse at my past and those I loved and adored and those that loved me, hopelessly. Brothers, sisters, lovers and the like. Romantic notion resurfacing? Possibly, but it's quite in depth if that's the case.
I was raised to more or less think freely. Stretch my boundaries to their limits. Go beyond the expectation of the norm. I think I sometimes forget that, and my own fears or uncertainties creep in and I limit myself. I put boundaries and restrictions on myself. I inhibit my own creativity and become frustrated when I don't excel or reach the goals I have set for myself, or that I think I should be obtaining and achieving.
Then sometimes, such as now, when I write these things down, and I have the balls to remove the stop gap and let these words out – for you to read them...I just let go and hope you don't think I what I have to say is completely balmy. Would you though? Is it all too far fetched? Beyond believability? I often feel words are clawing to get out. But then once they're out I feel a sense of relieve and release. Strange innit?
One Last Glimpse,