Monday, 30 April 2012

Is this really what it's come to?

Let me make perfectly clear by writing this blog entry, I am NOT bullying, teasing or taunting ANYONE. I'm not calling ANYONE out by name (even though I well and truly could) and it is all said without prejudice. These are my OWN opinions on the matters at hand (since I am currently merely an outsider in this), AND if you want to be a mature, RATIONAL person and discuss these matters further, I would be glad to do so. I WILL NOT argue, nor will I name names specifically. That's NOT what this piece is about. It's simply to speak my thoughts on the latest goings on and my own views and opinions on the ongoing drama over the last few months that is Social Networking.

Did you ever meet one of those people who are so completely vapid and clueless you wonder exactly how they manage to function? You know the ones, they come off as so daft and away with the birds you wonder if they're pretending or is this person REALLY this stupid?  Maybe they're seriously that good of an actor that they can deceive that many people into thinking that they're that clueless? Or are they secretly a manipulating mastermind who is a puppeteer pulling the strings? Sometimes; sadly; it's hard to in the "real world" looks can be deceiving. Until you meet a person face to face, you never really know exactly if they are who they seem to be...and sometimes even then, it can be questionable.

Social networking is both a blessing, and one of the most fantastic headaches and perpetrators of drama and stupidity of our time. I have met some truly amazing people both via Twitter, Facebook and other online resources who have had a profound impact on my life. I have also encountered some untold stupidity and seriously twisted people whose sense of reality is boggling. I have been very lucky to have had some unbelievable experiences; via these resources; with people I have idolized for years, that had you told me me would have happened to me even two years ago, I would have looked at you like you were completely off your rocker. But now, while still's great - for the most part. Don't get me wrong - I CERTAINLY don't take these 'celebrity' interactions for granted by any stretch of the imagination, they're still just people after all.

But there are the people who go to great lengths to manipulate, belittle, torture, stalk, bully, berate, and threaten people, and THAT is unconscionable.  Or the latest that JUST happened...sending bullshit "anonymous" in-boxes saying that (in this case) John had OD'd and died? REALLY?? I mean how old ARE you? It's pretty bad when legal action must be taken and explored to bring it all in line and protect oneself. Then there's the people who blame others (who are actually the ones who are causing all of this to begin with) for the fact that some of these celebrities (who brought us all together in the first place) don't as Tweet or Facebook as often as they once did. Do you honestly blame them? I sure don't. These people who are at the center of this likely don't either, because it's far easier to blame other people than it is to blame yourself for your behaviors. It's a sad, sad situation that said celebrities who are unknowingly at the center of all of this crap are now losing interest in a community they should and WERE once upon a time very embedded in. I'm sorry, but there is no way that they DON'T KNOW about all this drama and crap that's been going on, it's near impossible. And if you don't see that then I'm sorry that's where we'll have to agree to disagree. I think Duran (in this case) is PAINFULLY AWARE of what goes on within their community, and truthfully I think that's why John doesn't tweet as often as he used to, and that's a shame.

It's true, nut cases are everywhere.

When I originally joined Twitter, it was because of a (now former) friend of mine. It was where he was, so I decided to make an account so we could better keep in touch. When he and I terminated our friendship after 20 years, I remained on Twitter as I had found other people (that were not on Facebook at the time) that I had interest in, Duran Duran being chief among them, as far as celebrities went (at the time).

I had also stayed as I had met some people (even a few in "real life") that I would go to the ends of the earth and back for if they asked me to without a moments hesitation (You know who you are). People that I can truly trust with me and who I really am at my very core without fear of reprisal, condescensions, or mockery.  (And being TEASED is different when it comes from someone who truly cares about you, than when it comes from those who don't). Then there are those that are on the complete opposite end of the scale, ones that truly leave my mind boggling and reeling as to their reasoning, grip on reality and actually questioning their mental stability. I'm certainly not claiming to be the most sane person in the world, but seriously people - you know what I mean.

I've watched people I 'know' - GOOD PEOPLE - be berated, bullied, belittled for various reasons. WHY? What purpose does it serve?? Perhaps it was because they've met Duran, received tweets (numerous times) from the guys, etc, etc, etc . Stupid reasons really. Childish ones. Is that really worth THREATENING someone over??  I don't think it is, it's so grade school. The mentality of 'They like you more than me (seemingly) so I'm going to hurt you for it'. REALLY? Holy shit. What is lacking in your life that much that you feel the need to create such drama? Why do you feel the need to play the "They don't tweet me", "I'll never meet them", "I suck" drama cards? Only to have people coddle you and tell you 'you're not a horrible person'. Maybe you're not a 'horrible person' but you're no innocent either that's for sure.

If this was once in a blue moon it would be one thing, but ladies and gents this is an ongoing bullshit ordeal. I mean come ON. REALLY?? Grow the fuck up. There are people who have serious real life issues and I am NOT by any stretch lumping these people all together under the same category. Not in the least. There are those who; by reasons beyond their control; have a horrendous life at the moment - shit upon shit being dealt to them, and they're struggling through it. Okay yes, I'll agree, no one likes to feel like they suck and their life is going no where. But there's a vast difference between being that way one minute behaving like your life is ending one minute and then like a light switch flipping and being an extreme opposite happy go lucky, top of the world personality. That my friends is someone who needs to be on some serious medication. No one changes moods that quickly...NO one. And yet...I've watched it happen time and time again.

And people are leaving Twitter in DROVES because of the bullshit, the drama, the bullying, the lies...and they shouldn't have to, nor should they FEEL like they should have to. I haven't been bullied (yet) but even if I HAD been I have NO intention of leaving Twitter or changing my handle. Period. And if my writing this blog entry brings it be it.

Here's the bottom line...fuck with me and mine and that's it. Period. End of. We'll have nothing further to say to each other. I'm not sure what you think you are or WHO you think you're SUPPOSED to be...but seriously grow up and get a life. I suspect by weeks end I will have done a serious Twitter cull...I'm that done. There are people out there; and they already know who they are; who need to seriously get a life or get some help.

Again, if by me writing this entry, you want to try to berate, threaten, or bully me all means...have at it...I'll be pleased to introduce you to my block button or better my husband...who has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). And that's no threat...that's a promise.

In the end, it's a shame. It's a shame that a handful of people think it's fun or funny to do what they are doing. We were and are supposed to be unified and united by the five (the guys) for the one (the music). Not ripped apart by it all.

One Last Glimpse.


Tuesday, 24 April 2012

28,000 lessons learned

A few years ago my husband and I ran into some seriously major financial woes, completely of our own doing. We got in way over our heads, and owed a lot of money (about 28k) to various people (Although I learned on this journey that our 28k was NOTHING by comparison to others). Our credit was tanked, so no one would loan us any money to pay off this mounting debt.

Here in Canada you can (as a one shot deal) submit a "Credit Consumer Proposal". It's somewhat like going bankrupt but with lesser ramifications than claiming bankruptcy. You submit to the people you owe money to a proposal acknowledging that yes you owe this money, are unable to pay it however you are able to pay x number of dollars over a period of time without penalty or interest. So you negotiate down the amount you end up paying (ie. I can't afford to pay you the 12000 but I CAN pay you 8000 of that amount). If they accept your proposal, then all phone calls, "nasty grams" stop and as long as you make your monthly payments (for however long it lasts...usually 3 years) then everything is fine.

For me the thought of filing "bankruptcy" was admitting defeat and was devastating to me. I'm not sure why but it depressed the hell out of me. I was ashamed, and felt that I had failed somehow, especially with all the pre, during, and post bankruptcy ramifications. So when it came about that we could do this instead - I was far more interested.

Everything SINCE we filed our "credit consumer proposal" has been fine. No more phone calls or nasty grams, no more collection agencies. It's been FANTASTIC. Until today... I've not been well the last few days, this weather that's been all over the map has finally caught up with me and my sinus' have been just horrible with migraine sinus headaches and all the rest. Alan got a phone call today from a collection agency which sent him into a bit of a panic because I mean really who likes that shit? Anyway; as per the usual with collection agencies; this guy was a total asshole and prick to him, treating him like some piece of shit (or worse than) calling him a liar and sarcastically laughing at him and all this. In general, not a good scene. Alan ended up hanging up on the guy and calling the company we had filed our credit proposal through. He explained to them the situation, they informed him that the money this collection agency asshole was talking about had been included with our proposal and that THEY would phone this collection agency back and explain it to them as they had no right to be calling us. So I guess they called, and when they called us back - they informed us that this collection agency had been extremely rude to them as well. Also if the collections called back, to phone them immediately as it would start to boarder on harassment; which they cannot do; as we are now protected by laws that are in place since they are our mediators between us and the people we owe money to.

I've learned over the last (almost) year that because we submitted this proposal (or had we had to file bankruptcy) doesn't make me a bad or weak person. It's not uncommon, and I shouldn't feel like a 3rd class citizen or a criminal for it. We didn't abandon our debt. We're paying it off, a lesser amount to be sure - but We are paying off our debts. But it's been a long journey from there to here, I'm still of course nowhere near where I'd like to be financially; things have been tough in the last 6 months; other curves have been thrown at us, but so far, together, we've managed to stay the course, keep an even keel, and navigate the waters fairly smoothly together.

Oh and to the "gentleman" who phoned my home, laughed sarcastically at my husband and called him a "liar". You'd best pray that you're not dumb enough to phone my home again and get me on the phone...I WILL decimate your ass and make you cry like a little bitch.

One Last Glimpse,


Friday, 20 April 2012

Butterflies and Gravestones

The other night I was sitting at work, and I said to myself "Self..." (And I knew it was me because I recognized the voice) "You should text your sister in law haven't talked to her in about a week, you're due. Maybe she'd like to go 'see' Brad with you at the cemetery on Friday.(today)" I picked up my phone, at which point it vibrated -- I had a text from Mary.

This is not the first time Mary and I have done this to each other, but it made me laugh none the less and so I texted her saying "I was just thinking about you". She said she was listening to music and randomly the song "Remember when" came on. It has played prominently in my our little circle just before and since Brad's passing so the song seriously holds some heavy duty meaning. I laughed and said "Did you want to come to the funeral with me on Friday?" to which of course she replied "yes".

This afternoon she came to pick me up and Jessy, Mary and I went over. Mary's Mom is buried kiddy-corner to Brad so it was nice to visit with them both and spend some time. As we stood there; by the two graves; we noticed these (what started off as just two) butterflies 'chasing' each other but they kept "buzzing the tower", they'd fly real close and then whip away at the last minute. We kind of laughed about it at first but then they kept doing it. It was wild.

We stood, we laughed...we was nice you know? I think we each needed to do that. Jessy hadn't been since Brad's death - and I think she thinks about going, but certainly doesn't want to go alone, and I can understand that you know? It was so super hard on her when Brad passed away, she was completely brokenhearted. 

We mostly stood and talked to and about Brad while these two butterflies zipped around us, until we went to leave. It was not until then that we noticed about 20 or more of these little miniature monarch-looking butterflies all around us. They actually followed us back towards Mary's car. It was crazy. We're used to seeing the deer, or geese, squirrels or rabbits in the cemetery, but not a flock/swarm of butterflies. It was beautiful, very peaceful and serene. It was almost like his way of letting us know that he was there, listening and okay. And I'm okay with that.

One Last Glimpse,


Monday, 16 April 2012

The Continuing Aventures of a Gas Bar Glamazon

Today is relatively quiet at work by comparison to last weeks insanity. I am; to be honest; thankful for that. I'm not having a good day emotionally and I really don't want to deal with anyone's bullshit even less today than I do any other time.

I am exhausted from this past weekend with Jeff and Zaryn visiting even though I was off all weekend. I didn't sit still for long though at all this weekend. And I haven't slept well since about Wednesday of last week and it's starting to show and take it's toll.

Don't get me wrong, I had a great time visiting with family friends. I really did. I always do. I don't want Jeff to fly back to Vancouver because with almost 100% certainty the next time I see him - I won't want to. His younger sister has cancer and most likely the next time he comes home will be because she has died or is about to. And knowing that...SUCKS. The biggest problem when that time comes will be Jeff's Mother. She honestly has her head so far into denial (De Nile)  she's got a summer home there.

This only of course adds to the fact that I don't want to be here. And of course again...let's add to that shall we? Let the joys out at pumps 6 and 8 begin!! I just had some idiot pull in...and so of course I tell him that they're pay at the pump only. And that my dear readers is where the fun began.

The following; without exaggeration for amusement; is the conversation and events which ensued. As per usual no names have been changed to protect the innocent (not that I know the doofus' name -- but if I wouldn't be changed) .

I inform him; over the PA that he needs to pay at the pump. He slams the pump nozzle down back into the cradle, FLIPS ME OFF, gets into his penis compensation-mobile and revs the shit out of the engine when he starts it. He guns out of the spot he's in and comes to a screeching halt in the handicapped parking behind me. He comes in, stares at me slamming both his keys and his wallet down on the counter.

I blink at him a couple of times and then cock an eyebrow at him (JT would have been proud) and say: "Hello..."

Customer: "Do you mean to tell ME I have to pay you BEFORE I pump my gas??!"

Me: "Just at those two extreme outside pumps sir. The rest you can..."

Customer (cutting me off): "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???! (now laughing sarcastically) I have just deposited a 1.5 MILLION dollar cheque in my bank account!!!"

Because apparently I'm supposed to be impressed by this new found knowledge, and evidently I'm not showing the enthusiasm he desired by imparting this information upon me. He slams his hand down on the counter again.

Customer: "Oh fuck this then...CLEARLY I'm not getting through to you. OBVIOUSLY there's a disconnect there somewhere and you don't understand." this point...a rare "red mist" moment occurs with Kenny. They're rare, few and far between but those who have witnessed them in the past can attest, they do occur and have happened. Normally I would just stand there and say nothing, was not that day.

Me: "Sir, let me assure you (I'm leaned forward toward him now, speaking in a low, calm voice not breaking eye contact) I could care less about how much money you have, or don't have in your bank. It's NOT my business. All I care about is that the gas you pump gets paid for. It's NOT going to change the fact that pumps 6 and 8 in the outside lane are STILL pay at the pump.  If you choose to pre-pay...we can do that. But for you to drive here, and inform me of your financial status only informs me of two things. That you're insecure and you're desperately trying to compensate for something you lack. Now, if you DON'T wish to pay at the pump you can go to any other pump you wish except the outside lane. Those pumps are pay. at. the. pump. ONLY."

At this point he stares at me blankly. Absolute and complete gobsmackedness (it's a Kendraism roll with it Jnae LMAO) is what stares back at me. Judging by the look on his face, it was obvious that no one has spoken to him like that in quite some time and isn't sure how to process it. I got a meek "Well okay then..." as he turned on his heel and walked out, and got in his car. He pulled up to pump five (one of the NON pay at the pump pumps) AND PAYS AT THE PUMP FOR HIS GAS. I burst out laughing. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? What a goof.

One Last Glimpse,


Deadmau5 and Duran Duran

Please keep in mind, as with all my blog entries, these are just my own thoughts. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, or even remotely subscribe to the same ideology. If by some serendipitous fortune we do - fantastic! But, it would be a boring world if we all thought alike. 

John Taylor has a habit of linking music that people may not have already discovered on their own, of turning people onto new music that he enjoys and has discovered, as a musician I think that's great!! A lot of musicians would be very self centered and egocentric and be "There's just MY music out there". But not John. He likes to share the little nuggets of greatness he comes across with the fans and I think that's fantastic. Some of the stuff he shares truthfully (for lack of a better way to put it) just doesn't strike a chord with me, I'm indifferent and it doesn't move me in the slightest. But others...are fantastic and I can't believe I haven't discovered them before! And I thank him for that.

Recently, John tweeted this video link. Being that this is and was one of my all time favourite Duran Duran songs; the one that started it all actually; I was leery to watch it - Was it a remake of my beloved "Girls on Film" by another band?? Was it a remix??? However, my thought was, if John, who helped write the damn song, tweeted it - it must be pretty good then. So, I watched it. I think personally it's a fantastic remix/mash-up. It's still Simon singing with some of Duran's background, but it's a mash up of Duran and Deadmau5. I suppose the reason I was leery is because I just don't like the things I really love fucked with too much.

I have to say...I love this video. Whoever did the video for this mash up (and the mash up in general); which has elements of the original still in it (film being strung across in the camera, etc); did a great job! It's also got this....Emo goth Girl Panic! on crack aspect to the video too. Which I quite like. Very dirty and gritty effect to it. Biker boots, bitches, blades, tats and sexual overtones. What's not to love?

I think it's great to get a second set of eyes on something you've created. It can evolve into something you never expected it to. And while some fans of either Duran or Deadmau5 might not enjoy the accompanying video, quite frankly aside from the original "Girls on Film" video...I can't imagine anything better.

One Last Glimpse,


Saturday, 14 April 2012

Just another day at the funny farm

Part two Kristina!!! 

I arrived at work on Thursday to line ups from hell. I was bewildered as to why since gas the 2 other gas stations near by were virtually the exact same price we were. I went inside and realize there are no less that 6 people lined up inside to pay for their gas (I work at an 8 pump station - two of which are pay at the pump only). On Wednesday the debit/credit system had been down so I thought maybe it was a similar situation. However I came to understand that was not the case, so now I'm confused. My co-worker is an inept dumbass backstabbing bitch...but if I'm being 100% she's not completely incompetent (and if you ever repeat that...I'll deny it).

Then I come to find out some woman (elderly) had fallen in the last 10 minutes (just prior to my arrival)and smacked her head (she ended up being fine - her son took her to the doctor). So everyone who has witnessed this (including my co-worker) are a little frazzled. Understandably so. She's also fielding calls from the manager and answering her questions about the incident. She doesn't multitask well, so this isn't helping her decompress and shake the stress of that whole moment. And it shows. I actually pulled her off the till 5 minutes early because it was noticeable she was visibly shaken by what went down.

We continued being busy for the rest of the night and I had line ups. For the most part people were levelheaded and calm - which isn't always the case. HOWEVER...that does not mean that idiots didn't run amok. Starting with my co-worker...I understand that she was stressed and unnerved watching someone smack their head off the pavement makes me nauseous...but, why not take the five or ten minutes in the back when your shift is done for yourself before you do your paperwork? Take a moment, decompress, calm yourself, shit have a crying jag if you need to - BUT when you have been asked, told and all but written up about taking your till into the back to count it...DON'T take it into the back to count it. But what did you do? Yep that's right boys and girls, she took it into the back to count it. And I know; my dear co-worker when you're confronted by Shannon whenever that happens; you're going to say you had a headache, you were stressed and you needed to take a moment after the events of the day.

Yes, I told Shannon what she did. I felt like a TOTAL piece of shit, and like I was throwing her under the bus... but truthfully if I didn't...and Shannon pulled the video of that time frame for the accident report (Which she HAS to by law to cover her own ass) she would have seen it, and wondered why the hell I didn't say something. Either way, I'm not getting in shit because my co-worker is a total dumbass. Not to mention the fact that Alan pointed out that my co-worker would have zero problem with telling Shannon if I had done it.

The rest of the night was work. Typical idiots not grasping the understanding of "Pay at the pump" and of course the ever popular engaging the security feature so NO ONE can pay at a pump for at least a half hour until it resets itself. Always a good time. Fuckin dumbasses. I mean difficult is it to understand "Insert the card, stripe to the right and leave it. Follow the prompts on the screen and THEN remove your card and lift the nozzle"? I KNOW I'm speaking English because really -- other than sarcasm and sexual innuendo that's all I speak.  But ohhh no I got on the PA system and repeated the SAME spiel to this guy FOUR TIMES and THEN he came in and I told him AGAIN. It's not a case of me not speaking English, it's a case of people either not listening or not paying attention to what I'm saying because they couldn't be bothered to listen.

And don't even get me started on the pylons people have been driving over or nudging out of the way with their cars. Listen you fucktard asshat shitpumps the pylons AREN'T there for decoration because we felt the parking lot could use some sprucing up with a little bit of orange for a punch of colour. They're covering SPECIFIC spots that could seriously fuck up your car if you drive over what they're covering. So unless you want your car fucked up stop driving over the pylons and shoving them out of the way...I mean hey on over them! Go ahead! Jackholes.

I'm just glad I'm off for the next couple of days so I don't have to bitch slap anyone....well no... let me I don't have to bitch slap a customer. I may still bitch slap someone, it leaves me open for fun.

One Last Glimpse,


Friday, 13 April 2012

I'm Fucking Rick Springfield!

First I will address the title of the blog. A few years ago (3 I think?) a television show called "Californication" with David Duchovny had a very special guest star in the form of 80's heartthrob singer and actor Rick Springfield. It was a line (in various incarnations - ie. being 'fucked' by, OR alternatively in the first person reference). It was very funny, he poked fun at himself and played a very much over the top version of himself and I loved every minute of it. Now, as for the blog entry of the day. There will be likely TWO. (Yes Kristina you read correctly....TWO! Are you excited? LOL)

Growing up in the 80's the music was so different than what it is now. Maybe it's because I'm older and I'm doing the whole "Back in my day..." bullshit that I always swore I'd never say like my parents or grand parents however...Back in my WAS different. It was rarely (if ever) this emo bullshit life sucks crap. That didn't come until the 90's when grunge came into play. Now I'm not going to bash on grunge, but it just wasn't my thing. Now I'm sure you're saying "what about punk music K?" Well yes okay there were the whole "I wish I was dead" type lyrics, but it was done with better clothes, style and combat boots. What's not to love? PLUS who's going to argue with a guy who can manage to get his hair to stand up in a point 3 feet above his head? (BTW I always wondered how they did that). We had style back in the 80's.

I've always liked music. Lots of different kinds, classical, musicals, the stuff my parents used to listen to....I was raised on the Holy Jewish Trinity after all (Manilow, Streisand, and Diamond), SOME country (just not horribly twangy shit) pop, rock (LOVE me some hair bands... KISS, Van Halen (80's Halen though not this reunited stuff they have now. Or Van Hagar is just fine by me too!), Poison, Whitesnake, Journey....I could really go on. But music was FUN. We were just coming out of disco, and if NOTHING else disco was FUNKY and FUN. It was harmless ya know? No one killed anyone after listening to disco, alright maybe after listening to Disco Duck...but who could blame them? At worst we wore bell bottoms and platform shoes and did a platter of coke. (Okay not me specifically I was like 8 at the time). But seriously? It's disco. So much music today is derived from disco and music that has come before it...and yet people used to rip on it, and still do. Ahh but such is life I suppose, there's always something...but rest assured ladies and world wars, turf wars or gang wars were ever started over Blondie's "Heart of Glass" or Chic's "Le Freak". They were both just good, FUN-ky tunes.

I think the one thing all my favourite music has in common is that it's an emotional connection between myself and  the music. The lyric "The music between us" is a perfect example. It's a connection with something within the track, either the vocals, lyrics, the keys, guitar, drum or bass line. It's SOMETHING that speaks to me, and I think that's likely true for everyone. There's that connection to whatever music it maybe, but it's up to the individual to figure that out.

Sometimes it's the silliness of the lyrics that I love. I give you Guns and Roses "I used to love her" for an example. "I used to love her, but I had to kill her. I used to love her, but I had to kill her. She bitched so much, she drove me nuts, and now I'm happier this way. I used to love her, but I had to kill her and I can still hear her complain." I mean really? Seriously, no chance of a Grammy award there, but completely ridiculous but funny at the same time. Sometimes it's not the lyrics at all, they're not romantic or funny -- but catchy none the less...for example Forgotten Rebels (A Canadian punk band from the 80's) lyrics from a song they wrote called "Surfing on heroin". It's no Grammy winner either, however it's catchy and has on occasion been stuck in my head for days at a time. "I'm surfin' on heroin. I'm surfin' on heroin. Get a needle gonna stick it in. I'm surfin' on heroin. I'm so drugged up, I'm so fucked up. I'm surfin' on heroin."

Then there are those lyrics that have spoken to me on a personal level, for whatever reason:

"The sun drips down bedding heavy behind, the front of your dress all shadowy lined and the droning engine throbs in time with your beating heart." ~ The Chauffeur - Duran Duran

"There's such a sad love deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel open and closed within your eyes. I'll place the sky, within your eyes." ~ As the World Falls Down - David Bowie

"She's got eyes of the bluest sky, as if they thought of rain. I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain." ~Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses

"Be, As a page that aches for a word, Which speaks on a theme that is timeless. And the one God will make for your day." ~ Be - Neil Diamond

Sometimes, like I said it's not a lyric at all. Sometimes there are no lyrics at's something else within the music. A feeling it invokes. A memory. A thought.

Lyric-less beauty #1

Lyric-less beauty #2

Both of those songs, for various reasons invoke such emotion in me and have done from the very moment I first ever heard them. It's a strong emotion. One of love, passion, and usually I end up in tears or at the very least misting up. They're not sad tears in either case, just emotion brought on by memories of beautiful times with extraordinary people whom I adore with every fiber of my being. And yes, I realize the second song came out not in the 80's but within the last two years, however it is by a band who understands the 80's in the most profound way.

I guess I'll always be an "80's child" - the musicians from that time frame were such and made such a profound impact on my life, I'll never get rid of it. Not that I'd want to. Now, if'n y'all don't mind..."I want to put on my, my, my, my, my boogie shoes. Just to boogie with you."

One Last Glimpse,


PS. I'm adding an addendum to this. I was never into The Smiths. It was pointed out to me that yes, we had emo music in the 80's (The Smiths being a PERFECT example of that) but I have never been into mopey  music. It's just not who I am. I'm too much of a perky person...I guess? I mean that's not to say I haven't been a little emo bitch at times because, ESPECIALLY when I was a teenager I was or at least could be. I have done things, I'm not proud of that are very angry and dark. But...normally you know...Glass half full/ Half empty? I could never see actually out of that saying which was the down side. If the glass is half full, that's great there's still more to drink...if the glass is half my're THAT much closer to your next drink. It's win/win in my opinion.

Saturday, 7 April 2012

There's no such thing as a stupid question - are you sure?

Working in customer service you hear so many stupid questions it amazes me. Whoever said "There's no such thing as a stupid question" either a) never worked retail or b) LIED.

Sometimes I swear people drive up to the pumps and all common sense dribbles out their ears as they get out of the car. Are people really this daft or is it the fumes I often ask myself. I think truthfully I'm afraid of the answer. I mean if people really are this daft...perhaps they should not be driving and operating a vehicle. I'm just sayin!  However for all my bitching, I have fun and I do enjoy my job.

Let me share some of the comments and questions from TODAY ALONE in a mere 6 hour shift.

Customer: (who has come in to pay for her gas) "I don't know what my PIN number is?" (Who then proceeds to look at me with an annoyed tone because apparently I know what her PIN is but am just being a bitch and not telling her. Which of course you completely true.)

Customer: (after they've buzzed me inside over the PA system) "I can't get the yellow nozzle to fit into my gas tank?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR PUMPS???!" (Complete with hand on hip and then arms flailing about with a totally pissed off look on his face).
Me: "Your car isn't diesel sir. You need to use the black handle for gas. If you hang the yellow nozzle up and pick up the black one it will fit."
Customer: (With incredulous annoyed look on his face) "But, I want to use the YELLOW nozzle."
Me: "....I'd advise against it sir. It would put diesel in your car and you don't want that."
Customer: "Why?"
I ignored him at this point and to deal with a customer inside. I assume he put gas in his car and not diesel...
If he didn't, will be a pricey lesson learned now won't it?

Customer: "Can I fill a gas can for my lawn mower from the gas pump?"
Me: (This one threw me for a loop. I at first thought "How the hell else are you supposed to fill it up you dumbass?" But quickly I found myself wanting to reply with "Sadly no. I'm sorry. You must put the hose to your mouth, put the gas into your mouth first, swish it around and then spit it into the can.") I replied simply with a "Yes." however.

Perhaps my favourite today even though it was just joking around...but deserves honourable mention:

Me: (A customer has pulled into our extreme outside lane which is pay at the pump only for various reasons. The customer has lifted the nozzle up and is attempting to pump gas before doing the pre-authorization for his gas. So I get on the PA): "Pump Six, the outside lane is pay at the pump only. Please insert a debit or a credit card to get your amount authorized."
Customer: (looking skyward)".................God?"
Me: (Having now noticed it's my brother in law having a laugh) "'s God. And as God I say, smarten the hell up before I come out there and stuff the nozzle up yer arse!!!!!" (At this point the person at pump 5 spins around and looks at me in shock thinking I'm talking to him as he's missed the rest of the conversation prior to this point. To which I reply with) "I'm not talking to you pump're fine. I'm talking to the gentleman on pump 6." (Which renders my brother in law HELPLESS at this point).

Ahh the joys of working at a gas station...

One Last Glimpse,


Monday, 2 April 2012

Good night sweet Leopard

Sometimes life is funny. Not 'ha ha' funny, although sometimes it is that as well. Mostly it just throws you a curve when you least expect it to usually knocking the wind out of you and sometimes fucking you over a barrel. It can sometimes impact your life with devastation and trauma or sometimes it's a whirlwind of excitement. But rarely is it boring and mundane...that would be too easy.

I'm sitting at work cranky and irritable. Not a place I want to be when I'm in this mood, however here I sit. I have obligations so here I am. Truthfully I didn't want to get out of bed and I got out of bed at the last moment possible to get dressed and get myself together. I only had about 10 minutes on the computer to check email, Facebook and to catch up on Twitter. And that's when the curve ball came as per norm out of nowhere.

For as much as I bitched in my previous blog about Twitter and how shitty people have been to each other lately...I logged in to find out that one of our own (@ddstolenleopard) had passed away. At first, after looking at the date (April 1st), the first thought was someone's sick and twisted idea of an April Fools prank. But really, who would do such a thing? It had to be true. Sadly, from what I understand, it's very much a reality. The support I read and saw amongst each other made me honestly proud to be a member of our "family" we have created. No bitching, no arguing...just support for each other. That's what we should be doing, not fussing and fighting over stupid things that don't matter. I was stunned just like everyone else at her passing. Did I know her well? No. I'll be honest, I didn't. We probably only tweeted a few times to each other - but even so, she was still someone's loved one, and She will be missed by those who loved and knew her. From what I gather it was quick, sudden and very unexpected. May she rest in peace. My heart goes out to her family and friends at this time.

Sandy would want (I would think) for everyone to pick themselves up and go on, remember her, and absolutely have a smile thinking of her listening to Duran. She loved Duran like we all do (Simon in particular from what I understand)...I can't imagine that she would want people to stop loving them just as much as she had because she's gone. I think as well as that; at the risk of sounding  cliché;  she would want us all to live for right now. "All you need is now" is an ironic notion when it comes to this situation, but in the reality of it it's fitting...right now is all you have. You can't worry about the past, it's done and over with. You can look on it with fondness, sadness or regret but you can't change the past or let it consume you. Learn from past mistakes (yours and others) and move on. The future is yours to create and what you make it. Learn, move forward and live. Create joy for others and for yourself. Have sorrows, shed tears, laugh with others and at yourself, and love. Live your life. Be the best you that you can be. That way, when it's all over, and you are in that'll have no regrets.

I thought it fitting that I would sign off with the words of Simon Le Bon. I realize that normally they tend to dedicate "Ordinary World" to loved ones we've lost... however, considering Sandy's Twitter handle, I thought I'd leave some different words.

Do you know where we are?
I'm longing for the dark, of our nocturnal life
It begins and ends with you
Don't spill my secret

You were once running wild, hiding in the morning mist
Game demands I make you mine
I thought that I could resist, but the leopard in you silently preyed on me

I made my way back home (Did you follow her?)
I handled her with care (Were you in control?)
So elegant and sleek (Were you not afraid?)
I need her to be near (Does she belong to you?)
Don't spill my secret

You were once running wild, hiding in the morning mist
Game demands I make you mine
I thought that I could resist, but the leopard in you silently preyed on me

Deserted by my friends (Don't they understand?)
She's so much more than them (How could they compare?)
So now she's just for me (No one else can see)
I watch her while she sleeps (Be sure she dreams of you)
Don't spill my secret

(It's been quite a while) Since we were last outside
(And do you miss the chase?) Now that we've both been tamed
(Inside this gilded cage) Prisoners of our thoughts
(You saved me from myself) Don't spill my secret...

"Today a man was taken from his apartment on the New Jersey shore and arrested under suspicion of entrapment of a wild animal. Police, after forced entry, discovered a caged leopard in the building! The fully-grown feline was said to be surprisingly domesticated by zoological experts who gave her a thorough examination before preparing her for relocation.

A large crowd was gathered outside to watch the beautiful creature as a giant cage was lowered slowly onto the street by a crane. From here the leopard was transferred onto the back of a truck for the journey ahead. A startled onlooker said, "It's extraordinary to think that any human being could have lived in such close quarters with such a dangerous animal." Police are saying the captor was simply besotted with the creature and barely left her side.

It's alleged that he hunted her in the wild and expertly forged documents to facilitate her illegal export to the United States of America. The incident has already created much controversy and is now likely to leave to a major international investigation into the life of The Man who Stole a Leopard."

One Last Glimpse,


Sunday, 1 April 2012

Turducken, The Psychic Fair, and a Twitter rant

Just an FYI, this post has absolutely nothing to do with an actual "Turducken" meal. So if that's what you've come here expecting...sorry to disappoint! It's just "the word of the day" that has been tossed around my house. I don't know why. It's just one of those random ass things heard in my house people randomly yelling "TURDUCKEN!!!" and hearing "TURDUCKEN!!" in response, so of course - as always, I'm sharing. Don't judge! family is weird and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This afternoon my friend Nat and I went to a psychic fair. She asked me about a week or two ago if I wanted to go, and I said yes. I'd been to one before several years ago with my sister and her husband when Alan and I were separated but not in many years. So I agreed to go. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. I mean Nat and I had fun, we always do. But I was a little disappointed that there was no psychic I was drawn to to get a reading from. It was much smaller than the last fair I'd been to (This was Nat's first), and I was really hoping to get a reading from someone, but I was always taught "If you're not drawn to a psychic, don't waste your money". There was one gentleman who I would have considered perhaps seeing however I decided I wasn't convinced it was the right decision and left it at that.

And now for my Twitter rant....
I noticed in the last week that there are a LOT of negative and melodramatic people on Twitter. I don't know how I never noticed it before...but holy shnike! I guess I've noticed it but it just seems to be coming to a serious head lately and I've about had enough of it to make me (and several others) seriously no longer enjoy Twitter, or enjoy it less so that our time there is lessened. Like seriously people? Pop a Xanax or a Zoloft or a Prozac or whatever you need to make it through the day - no...these people are NOT out to get you, and if they're seriously taking the time to make your life THAT miserable...that's what the block button is for. I'd say haul out the Glock and go all gangsta know, I'm trying to be a kinder, gentler, koombyfuckingya sorta me. Just tell them to fuck off, report their asses and get bent. If they're THAT seriously bent out of shape and twisted around the axles because you got a Tweet off someone, or an email, or got a follow from them, or a DM or got to meet celebrity_01 (whoever it may be), or won the lottery or WHATEVER your good fortune was - they can fuck themselves if they can't be happy for you. And seriously, if they don't have anything better to do than to shit all over everyone else's happiness OR stir the pot and bitch and moan about WHATEVER their deal is, you shouldn't let it weigh you down and take that on as your own personal burden. You should tell them to screw themselves and hit ignore. One of these people is slowly erasing her fandom and existence because of these assholes. Seriously? You're going to let them win??? Fuck THAT says I. Why should you give up something you enjoy and love because of some pissant???  I understand that not everyday can be rainbows out the ass and sunshiny day. But holy fuck balls people lets back the razor away from the wrist and analyze this situation as to who exactly is the douchebag here in this situation! Cause I can guarantee you....9 chances out of ain't you. But doing what you're doing certainly makes you out to be a drama Mama, which only validates their original statement of you being the problem, when you didn't even start the situation but now they feel they're the champion because if you're MUST mean they were right and it's because they know they've won. And that shit ain't cool with me. Especially since I know that a lot of these people who are being shit on....are really cool and good people. Ya know? And I know someone out there is thinking "You're a stronger person than I am" I'm not...not really. I have my own insecurities - I'm just tired of people and them thinking it's alright for their behavior. It's called bullying and I'm not a fan. I wasn't a fan when I was a child being bullied and now that I'm an adult I'm CERTAINLY not going to bend over and take it from someone who's probably not worth it to begin with, nor should you (if this speaks to you personally). I'm not a violent person on the norm. I'm happy go lucky, I like to make others smile and laugh and generally have a good time. And I try to do that. When people shit on and pick on people who never deserved it to begin with and play the blame game, and generally kick those who are down already to make them completely off the rails...that's when Kenny sees red.

Namaste Mother Fucker, ya dig?

One Last Glimpse,