Thursday, 13 February 2014

Unsolicited advice and belly touching: A Rant

This topic just came up on my sister in law Mary's wall on Facebook and it's got me more than a little hot under the collar. First, a little background, Mary is pregnant....and has anxiety issues. It's no secret, she's not shy about this fact about her - so no, I don't think she'd mind me mentioning it here.

It came up on her wall the last couple of days that people have been randomly touching her belly, and giving her unsolicited advice. She IS pregnant, and for whatever reason it's "what people do" when women are pregnant. I have as of yet to figure out WHY people feel compelled to do this. It's not like Mary's the first person to ever have a baby, and it's not like she'll be the last....and yet, people continually do this. Even to random strangers!! (OH HELL NO!) In any event, someone on her wall got upset by this and said that they felt that the entire topic was "stupid". I wrote a response on her wall, but censored myself to some degree....

These are my thoughts on the subject....

Like I said, recently people have randomly been taking to putting her hand on her belly or giving her unsolicited advice on how to raise her child (who isn't even born yet). Let me just say this, if you want to raise a child....have one. It's one thing for someone to ASK for advice but a completely different ball of wax to get the unwanted, unsolicited advice given to you. And then these same people get pissed off when you don't take their advice, like it's gospel or something. Not to mention that every child DIFFERENT...I want to be learning from my OWN mistakes not repeat yours. If you want to use your 'sage wisdom' that you've learned... have another damn kid of your OWN.  But until the time comes where I (or she) asks for advice.... BUTT THE FUCK OUT AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

As for the whole belly touching thing...fuck off with that too. I can recall some random stranger did that to me and I slapped their hand. Like seriously? Piss off. Maybe if people asked, it wouldn't feel quite so intrusive. But to have some random stranger or people you don't like come up and put their hand on your belly...no. It's something completely different to have a friend or a family member (that you like) put their hand on your belly. It's done with affection. But to have people you don't like, or don't even know do it? It's an invasion. See the difference??? Now would I slap a child's hand? Of course not, don't be daft. IT'S A CHILD. But if it was MY child running up to touch some random person's belly, I think I would quickly inform my child that not EVERYONE likes that. ***For the record, I realize some people enjoy the belly touching - and that's FIIIINE. If that's your thing. I just could never get past people I randomly don't even know touching me, or people I don't like!***

And then finally....to have someone say a topic that you've brought up on your own Facebook wall is stupid? Then why comment on it if you think it's so stupid??? See here's the TRUTH behind the whole "this topic is so stupid".... You don't think the TOPIC is stupid, you think because the person's opinion differs from yours, that it's a stupid topic.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and like an asshole, everyone has one. But when it comes to how someone else's child is raised, or if or not someone's body is touched, or what can and can't be written on their own Facebook wall.... isn't that up to the person in charge?? And if it ain't you that has had the morning sickness, can't see their own feet, or who's name is on the wall...who the hell are you to say what can and can't be said or done?

One Last Glimpse,

~K

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