As a woman, I find that there are many great things about being the "fairer sex" that I love. Great hair, cool clothes, shoes (OMG shoes!), boobs, less hair in places where there should NEVER be hair. And just in general...not being a guy. I've never been one of those people who have played the "I would have loved to have seen what it would be like to be a guy for one day" game. I like being a woman. There are of course things about being a woman...that I equally dislike. Saggy boobs, periods, menopause, breast cancer.
Yesterday, a friend of mine; someone who I have known since I was barely a teen; told myself and some others that she had found a lump under her arm. Immediately her mind must have gone to her own mother, who had breast cancer and beat it. But so many what ifs must have sprang to her mind and rocked her to her core. I'm certain her world turned as inside out as well as her stomach; I'm sure; launching her heart into her throat.
When she told me, we (with other friends on Facebook) were having a discussion about something completely different. She told us, the three of us - and I think collectively we just held our breath. No one really said anything for a moment. We just sort of all sat there. But she was very pragmatic in her usual way about getting her ducks in a row so things were taken care of. A friend of ours first said she needed to go to the doctors and I just simply echoed the sentiments and told her to have it checked. The logical thing of course, "have it checked".... and I offered to her to go with her - had she wanted me to. She had already phoned the doctor to get in, and of course googled the shit out of what it could be one huge massive downside to the gift that is the internet, playing Google doctor...(I've done it myself) - with the ultimate fear firmly planted in her mind...as well as mine.
She has a loving husband, and two beautiful little girls. Her Mom too. I adore her family. They are beautiful people both inside and out. They are the kind of people who get shit on time and time again, but never ask for a thing - who deserve everything good and blessings to happen to them, not bad things. I've often referred to my friend as "my Simon" (Simon Le Bon). She says the things I wish I could, I wish I would...without hesitation. She takes the chances saying things and the risks I wish that I would in life, and makes shit work for her even when it's shit that she has to work with. She is a gift, and so amazingly talented. And for as much as she says the things I wish I could/would...I think she often sells herself short in her talents. I suppose that's the way things are with many - why I've not finished my book, why I've not promoted the hell out of my blog for everyone to read. That self doubt. That questioning -- the nagging voice of "what if I'm not good enough"?
I adore her, probably more than she will ever know. She has been a solid person in my life, and has always had my back. I can't imagine what my life would be like without her, nor would I want to and thankfully....I don't have to. She went to the doctor's today and it turned out to simply be an infection. I sat and cried earlier today thankful she doesn't have to go through that, thankful those girls and her husband have their Mom and wife. Thankful I have my friend, thankful she's okay.
There's a lesson here for us all here - check yourself. Men too. Check yourself, be diligent. Stay healthy. See your doctor. Please.
One Last Glimpse,
~K
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