Inspiration can come from the oddest of places. Sometimes it's something big and bold and flashy like a musical number with 76 trombones and a big parade. (Sorry if THAT song is stuck in your head for the rest of the day you musical lovers, but rest assured the entire score of "The Music Man" is now permeating my inner earwurm. So, you are not alone.). Sometimes it's a photograph or piece of imagery you capture a glimpse of. Or sometimes, it's something you read that inspires.
The other day, I read; by random chance; a blunt, frank, honest, beautiful, heart breaking, bold, articulate, intelligent blog entry by a young woman named Zoe Nash-Taylor. Who is; like all young women her age; pushing her boundaries and finding out "who she wants to be when she grows up". But her entry was so inspiring and ahead of where I know I was at her age maturity wise (even though I had 2 children at that point). I think, if she is recognizing and finding herself at such a young age (22), what I didn't/wouldn't/couldn't see in myself until I was 40 - she will go far in this world.
This entry has touched me deeply and came at a time in my life where I found myself stagnant. Stagnant in my writing, photography, bass playing...just about anything artistic. And my weight loss; that ever constant noose around my neck; has found a new inspiration too. Now, after reading this entry, by this young woman whom I've never met, by random happenstance, I realize that she has lit that fire again in me that I was missing and that I let dwindle over the last few months. I can never thank her enough for that kick in the pants that I was so sorrily needing.
I think I had forgotten, somehow in these last few months that I'm not just 'okay' and I let those same old fears creep in. Those 'what ifs'. She reminded me in her entry that I'm not alone, and I am worthy of being me and that I am worth something. She reminded me people DO love me unconditionally and I am worthy of that love and that I love them back just as fiercely.
I look to the future with promise and inspiration. Promise in myself, promise of the best me I can be and inspiration that I was lacking to continue my own personal journey.
And to you Zoe; should you read this; I'd like to give you a few words of wisdom if I may. As cliche as this is going to sound, as 80's John Hughes movie it may be... don't aim to be who your parents are, or who you think they want you to be. They had their own journey and story to write in this big, crazy world. They made their own mistakes, and crosses to bear no matter how successful they are. If you spend your life comparing yourself to the mark they left, no matter how far you get - you will perceive it to be a short coming by comparison. Be who you are, be yourself, who you want to be. Don't define yourself by your friends or family and don't try to live up to what you think their standards are. I honestly thought my parents had lofty standards for my sister and I, unobtainable ones. In the end, they just wanted my sister and I to be happy. Your family will love you and be proud of you no matter what. Your true friends will always be there for you...and if they're not there when you need them the most, be wary. You've got "it". You know you do, you just need to let go of those "what ifs" and take the leap.
I look forward to hearing about and from you in the future young lady, you've got spunk, fire and talent and I admire you. THANK YOU for inspiring me and reminding me of something I'd forgotten.
One Last Glimpse,
~K
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