Rambling

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I often wish there was another way to get the thoughts out that race and trample through my mind. Romantic notions, memories, ideas, inspirations, desperations and too the silent prayer to some unseen deity that truthfully I'm not even certain if he/she/it exists or not...although I don't believe so. I don't speak to anyone in particular during a silent prayer – more like expelling hopes and wishes to the universe for them to be heard by....someone. Some thoughts I'm certain sound completely mental, but sometimes if I don't get them out I feel as if I could burst. Even if they're ramblings such as these are.

I get images of faces, and sometimes even cognitive thoughts I don't recognize and yet – I feel as if I know the faces I'm seeing. Faces that come to me in dreams, along with them feelings of comfort. Are these past lives/family/loves? They say you cannot dream of someone you've never seen before. Is that true? That seems very odd to me. The mind and imagination is so vast – and that statement and notion of only being able to dream of ones you've seen seems limiting. I don't like to be limited and restricted. It doesn't suit me well at all. I think I've felt that more so later in life than in my earlier years. 

I believe in past lives, I always have. To me, there's more proof to reincarnation than not. And often I wonder if these faces, these feelings are those past memories surfacing - even ever so briefly for me to capture a glimpse at my past and those I loved and adored and those that loved me, hopelessly.  Brothers, sisters, lovers and the like. Romantic notion resurfacing? Possibly, but it's quite in depth if that's the case.

I was raised to more or less think freely. Stretch my boundaries to their limits. Go beyond the expectation of the norm. I think I sometimes forget that, and my own fears or uncertainties creep in and I limit myself. I put boundaries and restrictions on myself. I inhibit my own creativity and become frustrated when I don't excel or reach the goals I have set for myself, or that I think I should be obtaining and achieving.

Then sometimes, such as now, when I write these things down, and I have the balls to remove the stop gap and let these words out – for you to read them...I just let go and hope you don't think I what I have to say is completely balmy. Would you though? Is it all too far fetched? Beyond believability? I often feel words are clawing to get out. But then once they're out I feel a sense of relieve and release. Strange innit? 

One Last Glimpse, 

~K

Dear Subway....

Dear Subway,

Perhaps it's my own abject stupidity that I keep coming back to you. You'd think I'd learn my lesson. But I don't. So I don't know why I'm surprised that each time my husband brings me my sub from your store that it's got more lettuce on it than need be. But it's not just that. There is so MUCH lettuce on it, that I could (if I so desired) have a side salad to go along with my sandwich. And I know he says "only a little bit of lettuce" because I've heard him say "only a little bit of lettuce". So somewhere, somehow it gets lost in translation.

Really though, it's a huge waste. I don't eat it. In fact, the moment I get my sandwich I open it up to make sure there's no unwanted items on it. And nine chances out of ten remove at least 2/3 of the lettuce from my sub. Today in fact, I'd say there was probably close to a cup of unwanted lettuce. Maybe that doesn't sound like a lot...but I'm sure it adds up. I just like to be able to taste the (in this case) tuna I'm eating underneath. Know what I mean dear readers?

I'm not normally so fussy, but seriously... come on now. If I wanted a side salad, I would go somewhere else and get one.

Just sayin'.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Boston: Thoughts

I've sat here for a couple days staring at the screen debating what the hell I'm going to write about Boston. It's one of those things that I feel that I should write about it, that I want to write about it, but have no clue as to what to say.

I guess I should start with the fact that I've never been to Boston. I've always wanted to go, it's steeped rich in history which intrigues me - but I've never been afforded the opportunity to visit. Hopefully someday I'll get to go, I've heard its a great city.

My heart; like most people I'd suspect; has been heavy this week. It seems like so many things are all happening at once, like life is moving too fast in a blinding, surreal movement. It seems like not a moment goes past to breathe, when another mind blowing event occurs.
 
So many are quick to jump this religious group or that ideology for blame.  You can't do that, if you do that, I fear ultimately it will be our undoing. And much like the people who precipitated the attack, it will only lead to anger, rage, hatred and possibly more violence. It's of course difficult to not jump to conclusions as to who perpetrated these heinous and vicious attacks, but sadly in a case like this when none have stepped forward to assume claim; it's only assumption and presumption on our parts at this point. In the end, it doesn't matter the colour of the skin, or the religion of the person(s) behind it, or their motives. But they will be brought to justice, of that I am certain. Sadly however, it won't bring back the dead, or help heal the wounds.

It's in times like these we hold our loved ones a little closer, call that friend we haven't called in a while, and stand as a people just that little less in judgement of each other, when we are one as a race - not as country against country, or nation against nation. It's humanity, standing with humanity trying to make sense of such events. It's sad it takes a momentous event such as what has played out in Boston this last week to bring us closer together as a people.

So I, much like millions of others, stand with you fair city - my heart and thoughts are with you. 

One Last Glimpse,

~K

He wrote what?!

I'm not a big fan of today's pop music. I try to like it. I really do. I want to like it. But I just...I don't. Outside of the odd person, like P!nk for example, I find it difficult. I didn't get into the whole Gangnam Style, or Harlem Shake thing. I don't do novelty songs - okay yes, "Time Warp" from Rocky Horror Picture show is a cult exception. And maybe the odd Hokey Pokey (because it really IS what it's all about). But that's about my limit. 

Then there's Justin Bieber.... I try to support Canadian acts. Even if I don't like them per se, I never got into "The Hip" aka The Tragically Hip, but I'd never slag on them. Of course lately Justin Bieber has been in the media with "growing pains". Lashing out at the British press while getting into a van - trying to look badass, showing up on stage 2 hours late etc, etc, etc. But this...this seriously dubs him as the King of the Fucktard Douchebags for me. I read this in a report this morning while I was cruising facebook-land. 

(the following is taken from Facebook from the Anne Frank House . But you can read about it here: canoe.ca)

 Yesterday night Justin Bieber visited the Anne Frank House, together with his friends and guards. Fans were waiting outside to see a glimpse of him. He stayed more than an hour in the museum. In our guestbook he wrote: "Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."


I'm sorry... what? Seriously?? You sir, are a fucking moron. Period. Full stop. When I first read this I thought to myself, surely they must be joking. He couldn't possibly have actually been that big of a complete moron to actually write something like that. Sadly, and unfortunately... I gave him too much credit. Optimistic girl that I am. He's an embarrassment in my opinion. 

Maybe it's supposed to be a joke that I'm taking way too seriously. Then again...maybe he's not taking what she and her family went through; what everyone during the war went through; seriously enough. He needs to learn some respect. 

Words to the wise to you Mr. Bieber - You have to give respect, to get respect there Junior. Until you figure that out, you won't last.

One Last Glimpse,

~K



 

The ABC's of me

A - Available = Not in many, many moons

B - Birthday = June 5, 1971 : I will be 42 this year.

C - Crushing On = John Taylor... and Gerrard Butler, Dave Gahan, David Bowie, Michael Shanks, James Marsters....oh yea and my hubby. LOL

D - Drink You Last Had = Tim Horton's Hot Chocolate about 2 minutes ago

E - Easiest Person To Talk To = Friends/Hubby

F - Favorite Color = Teal

G - Grades In School = Average - although I excelled in Music, History and English.

H - Hometown = Sarnia, Ontario, Canada

I - In Love With = My husband

J - Jealous Of = No one / nothing that I can think of.

K - Killed Someone = Not today Mr. Weasley...

L - Love Who = Didn't I answer this already??

M - Milkshake Flavor = Strawberry (Honestly, I don't like any other types of shakes)

N - Never Have I Ever = Met a bassist I didn't like. ;)

O - One Wish = Financial Stability

P - Person Who Called You Last = A wrong number earlier at work

Q - Question You're Always Asked = Is there something wrong with that pump? (work) What's for dinner? (home)

R - Reason To Smile = Hubby, Kids, Friends, Music

S - Song You're Listening To = Nothing at the moment, watching telly.

T - Time You Woke Up = Late morning

U - Unforgettable Moment = Something I'd rather not discuss, it's in the past and I will never EVER do it again.

V - Very Best Friend(s) = I've been blessed with very good, dear, loving friends. You know who you are. I don't need to name them.

W - Worst Habit = Mindless eating

X - X-Rays You've Had = Ankle...and 2 ultrasounds

Y - Last Time You Cried = A few weeks ago watching Les Miserables, although I'm fairly certain if I had let a dream go much longer the other night I probably would have woken up crying.

Z - Zodiac Sign = Gemini

 

 

 

Fun this week with the Gasbar Glamazon

This week at work has just been chaos and fuckedville since Monday. I didn't work yesterday, and I'm glad I didn't. 

I got to work on Monday, and my boss informs me that our debit/credit had been down in the morning earlier, but it seemed after about 10am it was fine (I was working 12-4). Around 3:30pm it started slowing down and timing out. I knew trouble was brewing.

I spoke to a regular who came in for cigarettes who works across the street and she said that their debit had been sluggish and wonky as well. We both chalked it up to the fact that they had just started construction on our road and thought perhaps someone had hit something they shouldn't have. A few minutes later, just as I had switched with my replacement, it went from being slow and sluggish to not working at all. Inside...or out at the pumps. Chaos ensued. 

I stayed for about a half hour to try to help my co-worker to get through her customers between telling them it was "cash only" and putting up signs in the torrential downpour. Eventually she told me our boss (her Mom) was on the way to help her out, so I left. I guess we were without debit until sometime yesterday (Tuesday). 

I arrived today, only to see my co-worker (a different one) struggling with the debit machine. FAAAAABULOUS I thought to myself. That's just swell. After a little bit of a reset though, all seems well. (knock on wood)

Occasionally we get screwed up pumps though, people ram their card in and rip it out one too many times and the pumps lock up. So earlier today, just such a case happend, and I went out to back off the pump and put it out of order with a bright red bag (that reads "OUT OF ORDER" on it). That's when the fun began. 

Now, I know not all of our customers are english speaking. I get that. But if I were in a forgein country and I saw a bag with a big bright red bag on it,  I don't think I'd be too keen to touch it. But that's just me. The following, was a conversation had with an ENGLISH SPEAKING person, who reads and writes english quite well I would assume (according to his Doctor pass for one of the hospitals here in town).  

Me (on the PA): "Pump 4, that pump isn't working... that's why there is a red 'out of order' bag over the handle."
Dr. Idiot: "Yes?"
Me: "That pump is OUT OF ORDER." (said slower and clearer)
Dr. Idiot: "Yes I can see that..." (STILL HOLDING THE NOZZEL IN HIS HAND)
Me: "You'll have to move to another pump. The RED OUT OF ORDER bag means that the pump is not working..."
Dr. Idiot: "Why?"
Me: (Click PA off)

I swear I'm surprised I don't have a drinking problem.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

 

Poem/Lyrics 1

I just need for it to go right,
Something to turn in a positive direction,
Something's got to give to make way for a better way,
I just need for it to be alright.

I need to make a way,
To shine bright in the darkest hour,
To make way for living for today,
I need to make a way.

And even though I've lost my power,
In my darkest hour I know you're there,
You've always been there when I needed you most,
And forever know my soul.

I just need for the bad to turn to good,
Something to make or break this monotony,
Something's got to make a difference in this world,
I just need to bask in the light.

I need to kiss your lips,
To feel your arms around me,
To have you hold me and whisper softly,
I need to hear everything's alright. 

With you everything's going to be alright.

Getting my hair band groove on

Every year, the city I live in hosts a 3 day music festival to try to raise money for Metachromatic Leukodystrophy (MLD) (Bethany's Hope) called Rock the Park. It's held each July, and each day has 4 different bands performing. I haven't gone the last couple of years due to unforeseen circumstances beyond my control, however the first time I went I saw Heart and Lynyrd Skynyrd. What a show!!!

This year over three days there are a wide variety of groups performing:
Thursday's line up includes:
Greg Ball
The Rural Alberta Advantage
The Trews
The Tragically Hip

Friday's line up includes:
Helix
Platinum Blonde
Whitesnake
Journey

Saturday's line up includes:
Coney Hatch
Grand Funk Railroad
J. Geils Band
Styx

I am going to see Friday's line up, or at the very least would like to. I enjoy all four of the bands performing, and I think they all would put on a great show!

But here's the rub...on the Saturday, also here in town at a completely different venue, KISS is performing. Whoever planned KISS to come on the same day as the final Rock the Park day, might catch a lot of shit and upset from some fans. I mean really, not to slam or dis any of the bands performing on Saturday (honestly, I'd like to see Styx) they really cannot compare to KISS. This is just my opinion, Styx is a great band (as are the rest of the bands performing on the Saturday) -- but...it's KISS.

I think; to be honest; there are going to be more than a few people upset with the fact that KISS is coming on the same day/weekend as this festival. For me it's a question of if or not I want to go see KISS. USUALLY I get into Rock the Park for free and I suspect we're going to the Friday night line up (for me its one of those cases of the fact that I know someone who knows someone), so do I want to go see KISS, can I afford to go see KISS is more my dilemma. In either event; if I go or not; I'm sure both venues will rock and put on one hell of a show. Which; lets face it; is sometimes just what you need.

One Last Glimpse,

~K