Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Sleepless in Gas Bar Glamazon-land

I've spent the last hour and a bit laying in bed staring at the proverbial ceiling. I can't technically see the ceiling in my room at night, it's dark, my glasses are off and usually (hopefully) my eyes are closed. Plus I don't often sleep on my back. At least not through the night anyway. But I digress.

Alan is having a snorefestapallooza that apparently I wasn't privy to having prior knowledge and final veto of. So there I lay...every so often I'd give him a nudge, he'd turn over and then the freight train to Hogwarts would start allllllll over again.

I got to sleep once (I think) I was aware of what was going on around me, but also aware that I was starting to dream. I think there's a word for that sleep state (I don't think it's quite REM sleep) but in any event I'm pretty sure I was there. I know what I was dreaming about and I remember thinking at the time (in my dream) I'm almost there...maybe this time I'll get fully to sleep before he starts again. No such luck the 2:15am snoretrain was right on schedule. Bastard.

It's not like I have to work in the morning, in fact tomorrow night I'm going to a concert with my friend Amber, we're going to go see Aerosmith and Cheap Trick. I'm super excited! It's my first time seeing either of those bands, and it's the first concert I've ever attended with my friend Amber! Plus I'm off for two days - which is good, I only worked 4 hours tonight and that was plenty enough for me let me tell you! I'll regale you with a quick tale for tonight shall I? Yes, I shall.

So we have this thing called "Pay at the pump" at work (I've discussed it before, you should all know how to do it in your sleep by now, I've all but done a 3D diagram for you or a CGI reenactment). I think all places have it at this point except for maybe those odd Mom and Pop places that still may have those 1920 pumps that likely leak and have cause some sort of environmental outbreak. You know the types of places...there's usually a front porch, a banjo and a coveralled toothless hick named Jeb or Bobby-Ray-John running the place. A nice enough guy but you wouldn't want to leave him alone with the family goat if you know what I'm saying.

Anyway! For whatever reason my blurb of "If you wish to pay at the pump, you need to hang the nozzle up FIRST. Insert your card; stripe to the right AND LEAVE IT; follow the prompts on the screen and then remove your card and lift the nozzle" goes unheeded and eventually someone (at least once a night) will engage a security feature on the pump so that NO ONE can pay at the pump at that pump until the computer decides it's time to unlock it and allow people to; invariably; bugger it up again.

Such was the case tonight on pump 3. So I went outside and tossed a bright red "OUT OF ORDER" bag on the pump. We were busy tonight (I'm not sure completely as to why, the price was alright but it wasn't unbelievable) so cars were all over the place.

I'm dealing with customers inside and this person pulls up to pump 3 (I didn't see them at first) gets out and starts reefing their card in and out of the slot. So I look up (an alarm goes off inside when someone does that) and I see this dumbass slamming his card in and out of the slot. And he's getting pissed because it's not accepting his card. So I'm bewildered. The bag is no more than 3 INCHES from his hand, in fact I watched him touch it at LEAST twice.

Eventually I get on the PA system as he's about to shove his card in for the fourth time now and I said to him "SIR that pump is OUT OF ORDER, that's why there's a lovely festive Christmas RED BAG ON IT." He wheels around and looks at me, like I'M the moron, gets back in his car, slams the shit out of the car door and leaves.

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job....

One Last Glimpse,


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