There's no such thing as a stupid question - are you sure?

Working in customer service you hear so many stupid questions it amazes me. Whoever said "There's no such thing as a stupid question" either a) never worked retail or b) LIED.

Sometimes I swear people drive up to the pumps and all common sense dribbles out their ears as they get out of the car. Are people really this daft or is it the fumes I often ask myself. I think truthfully I'm afraid of the answer. I mean if people really are this daft...perhaps they should not be driving and operating a vehicle. I'm just sayin!  However for all my bitching, I have fun and I do enjoy my job.

Let me share some of the comments and questions from TODAY ALONE in a mere 6 hour shift.

Customer: (who has come in to pay for her gas) "I don't know what my PIN number is?" (Who then proceeds to look at me with an annoyed tone because apparently I know what her PIN is but am just being a bitch and not telling her. Which of course you know...is completely true.)

Customer: (after they've buzzed me inside over the PA system) "I can't get the yellow nozzle to fit into my gas tank?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR PUMPS???!" (Complete with hand on hip and then arms flailing about with a totally pissed off look on his face).
Me: "Your car isn't diesel sir. You need to use the black handle for gas. If you hang the yellow nozzle up and pick up the black one it will fit."
Customer: (With incredulous annoyed look on his face) "But, I want to use the YELLOW nozzle."
Me: "....I'd advise against it sir. It would put diesel in your car and you don't want that."
Customer: "Why?"
I ignored him at this point and to deal with a customer inside. I assume he put gas in his car and not diesel...
If he didn't, well...it will be a pricey lesson learned now won't it?

Customer: "Can I fill a gas can for my lawn mower from the gas pump?"
Me: (This one threw me for a loop. I at first thought "How the hell else are you supposed to fill it up you dumbass?" But quickly I found myself wanting to reply with "Sadly no. I'm sorry. You must put the hose to your mouth, put the gas into your mouth first, swish it around and then spit it into the can.") I replied simply with a "Yes." however.

Perhaps my favourite today even though it was just joking around...but deserves honourable mention:

Me: (A customer has pulled into our extreme outside lane which is pay at the pump only for various reasons. The customer has lifted the nozzle up and is attempting to pump gas before doing the pre-authorization for his gas. So I get on the PA): "Pump Six, the outside lane is pay at the pump only. Please insert a debit or a credit card to get your amount authorized."
Customer: (looking skyward)".................God?"
Me: (Having now noticed it's my brother in law having a laugh) "Yes...it's God. And as God I say, smarten the hell up before I come out there and stuff the nozzle up yer arse!!!!!" (At this point the person at pump 5 spins around and looks at me in shock thinking I'm talking to him as he's missed the rest of the conversation prior to this point. To which I reply with) "I'm not talking to you pump 5....you're fine. I'm talking to the gentleman on pump 6." (Which renders my brother in law HELPLESS at this point).

Ahh the joys of working at a gas station...

One Last Glimpse,

~K