Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Welcome to your VD: Am I on Candid Camera?

I'm currently, at work, as I write this...People for whatever reason (even though gas is currently 1.23.3 per litre) are coming in droves tonight. I don't know if they think it's going up tomorrow or what, but in any event...it's been busy.

I took over for my co-worker at 3pm today, and quite frankly I don't care for her. She's snotty, snide, has said very ignorant things to me in the past, and I just don't like her. She's as phony as the day is long to customers and our boss alike and I just don't have time for her crap. She's the kind of person who if I confronted her with her disdain for me instead of talking about it like adults would slap a smile on her face and say "I don't know what you're talking about dear! What gave you THAT idea? Of COURSE I like you." Instead of saying "No, you get on my nerves but whatever." kinda deal. Mustn't make waves, but apparently it's alright to go to our boss and complain about me. Whatever. My boss knows she's a dumbass and always has my back.

Today has been a day from hell from the get go. A "hot ghetto mess" as my friend Rach calls it. The aforementioned co-worker neglected to tell me of course that she had borked up the printer/fax machine so I get this text message from my boss asking me if the printer was fixed yet from it's paper jam....I'm looking like a moron because I have no idea what the boss is talking about. Seriously? She NEVER says anything when she fucks shit up btw - but she's FIRST to tell Shannon (our boss) if she finds something that you've fucked up. She (the co-worker) always leaves it as little "surprises" for me to find. It's like a scavenger hunt. I told Shannon I'd look at the printer when I had a chance, to try to clear whatever jam there is. I rip the printer apart, get a minor jam out...and fire it back up. No dice. Now it's saying "Address book error". I have NO idea what the hell she's done. And quite frankly I can't do anything about it to fix it. It sounds like she's managed to delete the connection from the computer to the printer but I don't know that for sure. In any event, I currently have a 5000$ paper weight behind me on the counter until the tech guys come in to fix it. Did I mention we print off MULTIPLE reports per day? No can do now until the tech guys come out...whenever that might be. Not to mention the fact that I'm fairly certain she kept hitting send send send trying to figure out why it wouldn't print, so likely she filled the printer buffer too. She's not the most technological savvy person in the world.

Then there was the following customer who makes me hate this job. I'm going to write this next portion as what I WANTED to say to the customer, but of course...didn't. "Sir...let me make this plain and simple for you. If you had actually pressed the "call button six or seven times" like you claim you did, I would have heard it. It sits not 2 feet (or less) from my head, it's loud, it's obnoxious and believe me I would have heard it. So do not come storming into my store to pay for your gas saying you pressed the call button because I have a news flash for you fucktard... Ya didn't. And I can assure you today is not the day to insinuate that I'm a liar. You may just find cupid's arrow stuffed somewhere you hadn't anticipated bucko! " People piss me off, and I'm a pleasant person I think. But seriously??? I got yer customer service right here ya fuckwad.

I had a customer in here this evening who had a comb over that was so severe, so crazy, so drastic and so hysterical I have no idea even now how I didn't burst out laughing. But some how, by some small miracle...I didn't. But I tell you one thing, he'd give Donald Trump a run for his money in the comb over department. It was that drastic. The fact that the rest of his hair was silver/white and this comb over was as black as the ace of spades didn't help matters either.

Then there was another customer who came in who came in wearing a dress shirt, construction boots and then he had on black palazzo pants that had little skull and cross bones on it that were wearing little santa hats printed on them. Dude...what the FUCK? What fashion mental hospital did you escape from? Seriously? This outfit will never be in style and I pray that my retina's recover from the burn that your outfit has just put on them. OH! And did I mention this customer was a MAN?

So that's been my Valentine's Day thus far while here at work. I didn't get any candy or flowers from Alan, and quite frankly I don't really need them. The fact that I have him, we're massively in love is more than enough for me. And I'm thankful for that. More than I can ever say.

One Last Glimpse,


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