Gas Bar Glamazon: Losing my mind

Today was day 2 of a 4 day stretch at work. Normally I don't work 4 days in a row but we have a co-worker away this week (thank DOG...I'll be sad to see her return to be honest) so I'm working 4 days in a row. Which is fine! BUT! For some reason only known to the lunatics that frequent my gas station it was  INSANE here today. Seriously the looney toons were EVERYWHERE! And not just nuts jobs but fashion nightmares! Honestly! I'm certain Alexander McQueen is somewhere SPINNING.

I had one gentleman come in wearing what I can only ASSUME were his wife's capri's. The senario in my head is that they were in DIRE need of ciggies and chips so he decided he'd go while she did ALL the rest of the laundry in the house because they had no other clean clothes. FYI dudette, floral print pants flatter NO ONE.

I had one elderly woman who is a regular at my store, she came in to pay for her gas and get her cigarettes. It wasn't until she went to leave that I noticed she was wearing hospital scrub bottoms. Now...anyone who knows surgical scrub bottoms know that they tie up at the side (or the old green ones do)...if they don't fit you perfectly they'd leave a big gaping hole. Which these did...and the woman wasn't wearing any underwear yo! I can't UNSEE this shit people!!! Once it's out there and I've seen it...no amount of mental floss will fix that!! What has been seen...CANNOT be unseen!!! Please for the children's sake...and mine...remember this! Becuase you know exactly what I'm going to visualize the next time I see this woman. Like I said...I can't UNSEE this stuff.

Oh then there was the older man with the canoe strapped to the top of his sedan who kept doing donuts in the parking lot. No, that's not a euphemism...he honestly had a canoe strapped to his roof and was doing donuts in the parking lot. The white sport socks with the shorts and sandals just added to the sex appeal of this prize winner. The only way it could have been hotter would have been if he had been wearing black dress socks. Hubba hubba.

I had some young kid come in this afternoon bitching about one of the pumps. he said it was too slow and chuggy and all this crap. So he told me to tell the manager. I'm like okay, no biggie (keep in mind that no one else had bitched about this pump all day). Fast forward almost 8 hours later, said fuckernut returns. Same car, more gas...guess which pump this brain trust went to? You guessed it! Moron. (FYI there was NOTHING wrong with the pump except the person using it).

I don't know where these nut jobs are coming from including the woman (just in as I was writing this) in her flannel housecoat, Pop Tart polar fleece jammie bottoms, hair every which way...apparently she was compelled to get gas after she'd already been in bed? I dunno.

The more I work here the more I feel like I'm on some bad acid trip...only, I've never done acid. Maybe if I had, or did all this would make some days working here make much more sense.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

PS. This is NOT to say I don't have some sane and wonderful people frequent my store. I have some LOVELY regulars who come in that I adore! But boy HOWDY do I get some nutters!