Mine...immaculate dream....Jan 24/2012

I just awoke from a "nap" (3 hour pillow face-plant snore-fest epic crash more like) and had the most vivid, clear, bizarre dream that left me perplexed, bewildered, humored and heart broken all at once. I dreamed of my husband, Jane and Rachel, Simon Le Bon and John Taylor, my Mother (whom truthfully I rarely dream of  so that was a treat! - I dream more of my Mother in law than my own Mom for some reason). (My Mom passed away in March of 1996, my Mother in law in November of 1995). But it was so vivid and so...crisp it was almost as if it was more like a memory than a dream. Although I know it never actually happened (If that makes any sense whatsoever).

I was sitting on a balcony of a hotel room with a table in front of me with a laptop on it (I was writing), the balcony had no outer railing (that I could see) so I had an unobstructed view from where I sat. It was sunny and warm, I could hear water (waves on a shore), and a breeze...but it was so bright it was like that winter white/snow blind effect you get. I remember hearing talking behind me although I didn't turn around to see who it was, I could tell it was my Mom and two male voices...I want to say it was my husband and Simon talking but the male voices were far off and I couldn't really hear them at first so I'm not sure. I do know it was my Mom however.

I remember sighing at one point while I was typing frantically on the keys (no clue what I was writing about -- I couldn't read the screen although I'm certain I looked at it more than a few times). And then just after I sighed my friend Jane was sitting in a wicker lounger to my right sunbathing herself she said "Don't force it, let it come...it will come. We both know that." And John handed her something (a bottle of water I think????) and said "I agree with Jane. That's the worst, don't ever force it. If you do that, it will end up being contrite and sound forced and you'll end up fucking hating it and then you'll have to go back to the drawing board and start all over." I remember looking at my friend Jane who was smiling like the cat that swallowed the canary and she said "See? I know what I'm talking about.". Which made me laugh.

My Mom and my friend Rachel came out carrying a small tray of fruit (I vaguely recall pineapple but other than that...I'm clueless) and indicating that Simon and Alan were inside trying to fix Simon's antique (1940's) motorcycle in the front foyer of my hotel room. Rachel seemed annoyed with Simon as he had leaked oil on the floor and she wasn't certain as to how she was going to get it out of the floor. I recall her saying "Surely they could have picked a better spot to do that for fucksakes.". I remember my Mom replying with "Let them clean it up, they made the damn mess in the first place.".

All this while I'm typing and typing. I still have no clue (even in retrospect) what the hell it was I was writing. A book? This blog? I'm not sure. I remember my Mother offering me fruit and telling me I should put the laptop away and just relax and I said "I can't Mom, I want to finish this part up and then I will." She smiled and shrugged and turned to John and said with a sarcastic tone and wicked grin "This is all your fault you know." At which point (before John could reply) Simon and Alan came out behind me and Simon said with a wink and a smile, with a beer in hand "Oh yes Gail (my Mom), he never could keep his mind and opinions to himself. He's nothing but trouble that one!" (pointing at John) with that, he promptly sat himself half on the arm of the chair my Mom was in, half on my Mom's lap!!! (LMFAO) (At this point my attention is turned to Alan, I know John and Simon "exchanged words" after that but what they were I'm not certain - I do recall hearing my Mom's laugh though so it must have been funny).

I remember looking up at Alan who grinned down at me (with oil and dirt smudged all on his face) and said "Well...it's dirty...but it's fixed." I looked up at him and said "In the front hall? Really???" His response with a shrug and a point at Simon "Hey! Don't blame me! It was his idea!!".

And that's where I woke up. It was a great dream, a fantastic one. I'm perplexed and bewildered because what a mix of people to dream about, not to mention the subject matter. Where the hell were we?? Why the hell were Simon and Alan fixing a motor cycle in the front foyer of the hotel room? I'm amused because of the expressions of people, hearing my Mom's laugh and seeing her look when Simon half sat on the arm of her chair, half in her lap. But, I'm also heart broken because I don't dream of my Mom as often as I'd like. It was a precious dream for certain, as most of my dreams with my Mom are. It's as if for that brief snippet in time I have her here, I can hear her, smell her perfume, embrace her. And all is right with the world.

One Last Glimpse,

~K