Lose my shit...but in a good way!

About once a month since April my friend Rachel and I have gotten together once a month to watch Duran Duran videos, concerts and the like. It has been dubbed "Duranovision". We watch whatever, and through the miracles of modern technology it gets projected onto my living room wall and it is heavenly.

Last night we watched the DVD that came with my "Big Thing" boxed set. I believe the tour was called "Strange behavior" although I could be wrong. It was at a point when John was just starting his downward slide. I BELIEVE he was still with Renee but his drug use was beginning to show through. He looked gaunt, and right at the end of the show he went off for a "costume change" but really doesn't do much in the way of that. Instead he comes back and it's VERY evident that something has changed with him when he returns to the stage. Yes he's lost the shirt he's been wearing and is just wearing a jacket. But his demeanor has changed as well. Visually he had changed, and I remarked to Rach it was difficult for me to watch. BEFORE he'd gone off stage he had this slowing down aspect to him but a look of "I can get through this...". But upon his return it was a VASTLY different story...he was just vacant and completely gone. IMO, he did more than just a "costume change" backstage.

I told my husband later when he asked me how the concert was, that it was okay but there had been parts that bothered me. I said to him that I didn't understand how I couldn't or didn't understand see John's decline back then (not that there was anything I could have done about it). His response was simple and true. "You didn't want to see it". And I didn't. John was my teen crush and idol. I can see it plain as day now of course, but I definitely put blinders on when it came to John or Duran back in the day.

There is a moment however in the show that gave me a preview of how I'm going to feel when the song gets played -and that was for the Reflex. I literally had to pause it and apologize to Rachel in advance. I think I am just going to lose my effing mind. LOL

One Last Glimpse,


~K