It still seems like a dream to me on some levels. Almost like I won't let myself believe it's real. That this time..it's really going to happen. I can't bring myself there yet. I think I'm scared or paranoid that if I let go, and go there....it won't happen. Everything else logical in me screams "don't be ridiculous- let go, enjoy the ride! It's not going to be taken away from you again. You're going. And that's that." But I can't....not yet.
Make no mistake I'm absolutely counting down the days. The anticipation is great, and it's about killing me that I just haven't let go...but I just...can't. The funny thing about it is, I know I'm not alone - I know there are others out there who are "what if'ing" right along with me, but dare not speak of it. Chiefly among them would be Simon himself I'm sure. But truthfully, he can't let it consume him which is probably for the best. Move forward, move on, take what you have learned from the experience and move on using its lessons in the future to your advantage.
I think I just want the tour to start, I want them to be over here...on our half of the world, I've missed that. Then maybe I'll feel better, and be able to just let go. I'll need to let go of some of this pressure cooker or I'm going to end up on youtube in one of those videos where a crazed fan dives the stage grabbing John or Simon and being dragged off by security. And as much fun as that would be...I don't think that's how I'd want to be remembered by them.
In the reality of the situation, I suppose no matter how crazy, batshit or insane I go before the show - I still will absolutely loose my mind at the show. There is no question in my mind.
I would love to be at one of these rehearsal gigs. I think that would be outstanding, and fun. it's another thing I've never heard of a band doing before that I think quite frankly is brilliant. Leave it to Duran.
As the opening of the North American date approaches I suspect another surge of emotion once again will swell with the excitement and anticipation, I would love to hear the screams that are going to ring out during the first show (and rehearsals for that matter). I'm certain it will be an emotional moment for Simon, I have no doubt. To over come that hurdle - I'm sure will fill him with pride.
Deafen them ladies....they deserve it.
One Last Glimpse,
~K
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