Wednesday, 24 August 2011

August 26th, 1989

When I was 18, I got married. It was a small wedding (only about 50-75 people) and not my "dream wedding" but I was on a tight budget and there was a time constraint as well I had to work with. I was pregnant, and Alan was due to leave for basic training at the end of August, and since he was informed that the military (at that point) didn't recognize "common law" marriage, if I wanted to be covered under any of his benefits -- we had to be married. So we did. Not that it really mattered WHEN we got married since we were planning on getting married anyway, it just happened BEFORE he went to basic training instead of AFTER like we'd originally planned. Either way, I was marrying the love of my life.

I didn't have a bridal gown or anything like that, and to be 100% honest -- while my dress was pretty it wasn't me (or at least I don't think so). It was wedgewood blue in colour and fairly plain. It wasn't anything I was overly excited about, but it fit and looked nice. It wasn't what I wanted (I wanted an actual wedding dress of course) but that wasn't in the cards and it looked nice and served it's purpose.

My Mom had worked 11pm until 7am the night before my wedding (something she couldn't get out of), and my sister and I had spent the night at my Mom's. After a couple hours of sleep My Mom and I went to the hairdressers, (of which I spent with my ass in the air for a good half hour -- I'll explain later), picked up one of my two wedding cakes, and took me to the woman who did my make up.

Quite frankly, the day is a little hazy. I don't remember much about the morning at all. I know we went to these places and did things but any conversations and actual details -- I have nothing until about mid afternoon. With the loan exception of my ass being in the air at the hairdressers. She originally tried to do a regular french braid but I had these pieces that would stick out at the side, so she decided to try a reverse braid which started at the nape of my neck and went upwards instead. So there I was, ass in the air, bent over the chair while she braided. Charming to be certain. But my hair looked good in the end - and truthfully isn't that all that matters?

Later I found out that after I left, Alan went in for his own hair cut to the same salon. The same lady who had done my hair, completely butchered his. He went home, his Mom took one look at it and said "What the hell did you do to your hair??" He ended up going to a place just up the street from his Mom's and getting his hair RE-cut just to fix the mess she had made.

We returned back to my Mom's and waited for my family's arrival so we could take some pictures and then drove to the park where we got married. I remember pulling up in the car and seeing Alan and his family and trying to hide in the backseat of my Dad's little Nissan Maxxima so he couldn't see me before the wedding. I remember my Aunt Jane (whom I adored -- she unfortunately passed about 6 months after my Mom) had brought me some pearl earrings for my "something borrowed" (which she later gave to me), who shooed Alan away when he got too close to the car.

I remember walking with Mom and Dad to the gazebo where we had our wedding. My youngest sister in law Mary lead the way as our flower girl, and then my sister. I remember as Mom, Dad and I walked across the grass my heals sank in with every step. I had to keep lifting my feet up to pull the heels out of the grass. I remember I almost felt like I was marking with each step - hoping like hell I didn't lose my shoe. I remember I also whispered something like "don't let me go ass over tea kettle" to my parents.

Our ceremony wasn't a long one - it was a Justice of the Peace and we hadn't done anything special with our vows or anything (although I wish we had, I always thought that was cool when people did that). I remember I couldn't look at Alan as he had this grin on his face that he gets sometimes, I can't describe it in any other way than the "I know I'm gonna get laid" grin. LOL Sorry kids but it's true! My brother in law Rob stood over his shoulder making goofy faces at me so he was no help, and my friends sat lined up on a bench - some watching intently, others in tears. Surely I couldn't look at them! I would have started bawling myself! So with no where to look, I stared mostly at the ground.

We had a small dinner reception with family and a few friends, and then moved to a small hall for the reception. Alan's parents arranged that portion and to be honest I knew very little about what was going on with that. I knew my youngest brother in law Dan had literally spent days recording music to dance to, and while I'd gone over that with him (I was pretty anal retentive when the music came up), I was pretty hands off otherwise.

There were a few "must haves" at the reception for music in my eyes. I had specific songs in honour of friends in attendance. Various memories - songs that meant something. Something by Triumph (Just one night) for my friend Nat and I who we had spent many hours listening to Triumph over the years, Kim Mitchell (Go for a Soda) for my friends Leslie and Dede, Yello (Oh Yeah) for our friends Jeff and Ray, AC/DC (Back in Black) for our friend Amber, and of course Duran Duran (The Reflex) for Rach and I.

My in laws also had a 50/60/country band that they performed in that played. Truthfully that genre really isn't my thing, however they wanted to play a couple numbers that I really loved and that was a great gift from them. Alan got up to sing "Johnny B. Goode" with them, and as a joke part way through they changed the tempo on him. Here's Alan singing like gang busters and they drop the tempo right out from under him. The look on his face was priceless. I loved it.

Tomorrow, Alan and I are heading (just us) to Toronto for the weekend to go to this convention. It will be nice to get away and have some alone time. I look forward to it.

22 years ago on Friday, I married the love of my life. Happy Anniversary Alan. I love you.

One Last Glimpse,


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