Come Undone

So Tuesday August 2nd was THE "Big Day". It was the Duran Duran North American Tour Dates announcement day. I was up at 7am prompt (even though they announced late Monday that the announcement time had changed and instead of 8am EST the announcements would start at 12pm EST) and ready to face the day along with my #duransistas from across the country we sat together and waited patiently. Okay not really, truthfully... by the time the announcements started we were ALL climbing the feckin walls. Kids were left to their own devices for lunch, work abandoned...with Duran adult diapers on...we were ready to face the announcements together.

12pm came and went...with no announcement. Just teasers from Duran...it was like whomever (many of us suspect it was our lovely Controller - Nick Rhodes) was sitting there, at the keys...enjoying the sheer torture of the agony that we were being put through by making us wait. Then, in the most creative way I have EVER witnessed, the announcements came in. Most of them were video links back to youtube with little video vignettes announcing dates and locations of the North American tours. Cheers and screams rang up from Twitter and Facebook as various dates were announced. We cheered for each other (as only we can) and held each others "hands" and breath as we waited for more dates to be announced. The agony waiting for the ecstasy was exquisite. The tension was palpable and the intensity was a feeling I have never felt.

I have NEVER seen (may I remind you) Duran Duran in concert. Video yes. Live same room...no. I've been close a few times. But never EVER in 28 years of loving this band...have I ever stood in the same room as these gentlemen, these idols, these Gods of music. I have never had the privilege, honour, or pleasure. I have even dreamed I was at a concert of theirs (on more than one occasion), and even once I remember I dreamed sitting in a completely empty venue with Simon Le Bon himself and having a conversation, just he and I. The dream I had was a few months ago, I was sitting in an empty venue that originally I thought to be the Skydome in Toronto. The place was completely empty, there was a stage that was almost completely built (but not quite). And I was sitting in the seats (Nick's side) looking at it. I turned to Simon and said "Why am I here?" He replied with "You HAVE to be." I said "Why?" His response was simply "You'll find out."

For myself; as a Canadian; I waited to hear of a city within a day's drive that I could get to to see the guys. Cleavland, Ohio was the first one that was announced within that possibility, and then Chicago, Illinois. Windsor, Ontario was next followed by Montreal. At this point I was texting with my friend Rachel (@rachelcreelowe) who I am going to the show with (we've known each other since we were 14)  who had since had to leave the announcements and take her children to swimming lessons. I was texting her with updates and informed her of the Windsor and Montreal dates. She replied with "What??? No Toronto???" quite incredulously. I was as surprised as she was, no Toronto I thought? TORONTO?? A place that once upon a time Simon even had an apartment and referred to as his "second home"? A place he had felt so comfortable in that he could actually walk around without being accosted and harassed and just be Simon Le Bon - person, not Simon Le Bon - Rock God.  This, I found so very hard to believe... As the next show that was announced was NYC I replied "no....no Toronto". And then, out of nowhere....there it was. A video link for a Toronto date. I froze.

I remember I blinked a few times, held my breath and even muttered "Oh God...." before I clicked the link and Roger came to life on my screen. Slowly unveiling the date and location Roger revealed that not only was it in Toronto at the Air Canada Center (my understanding one of the biggest locations on the tour) but also the date was on Simon Le Bon's birthday. Everything after that moment is a blur. I know I screamed, I know the cats scattered, and I know my youngest daughter (Lexi) came running down the stairs to make sure I was alright. But what I screamed I couldn't have told you (My Eldest daughter Jessy later informed me that I screamed something to the effect of "FUCKING TORONTO!! ACMOTHERFUCKINGC!! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!") and while I know I yelled SOMETHING. I couldn't have told you what it was.

My hands shook fiercely while tears streamed freely down my face. I tried to txt my friend Rachel but the words just wouldn't come. No. I stopped myself. This was something that I HAD to tell her voice to voice. So I dialed her cellphone (somehow). It rang..and stopped. So I texted her "nswer your phone"  So I redailed. And again...it rang...and stopped. So again I managed to text her "answer your phooooooooooonnee" . When I dialed the THIRD time she answered. She said if she had not known it was me, she would have had no clue who it was. To say I was "hysterical" I think would be the understatement of a lifetime. I managed to get out something about Simon's birthday. And I thought I said the venue as well, but I can't be certain of that fact. I shook, I hyperventilated and I cried. Oh boy did I cry. SOBBED would be a more accurate way to describe it. Not only were they coming to Toronto to the ACC, but they were coming on Simon's birthday...this was more than I could handle. Kenny went bye bye.

I have tried to write this blog about 5 times now and each time I couldn't get out what I wanted to say exactly. And I'm not sure entirely that I got it right this time. One of my #duransistas put her book editor hat on and suggested to me that I just write down words/phrases of how I felt at that moment to perhaps help me with capturing that time. These are the words that I have written:
Elation
Fear
Excitement
Terror
Shock
Anticipation
Jubilant
Surprise
Thrilled
Ecstatic
Trust
Vindicated
Pride
Honoured
Privileged
Bond
Friendship
Love
Respect
Idolize
Nauseous

I felt every one of those feelings at the EXACT same moment. It was an extreme intense feeling that I don't know if I have ever felt that way before. It was staggering. I look forward to October 27th with baited breath. I know it will come all too soon, but I truly am excited. I look forward to hearing stories of my #duransistas and their Duranventures that they will be having both alone and as groups. I love you all, you each have impacted my life in such a short time as only Duranies can. I will be with each of you in spirit to each and every one of those shows and I look forward to hearing the stories and seeing the pictures!!


Most of all I look forward to sharing in the experience that is Duran with Rachel, I've waited 28 years for this (26 of those I've known Rach). I look forward to sharing Simon Le Bon's birthday with him. It will surly be an experience I will never forget. Once more in the immortal words of Simon John Charles Le Bon....

Mine, immaculate dream made breath and skin
I've been waiting for you
Signed, with a home tattoo,
Happy birthday to you was created for you

(can not forgive from falling apart at the seams
Can not believe you're taking my heart to pieces)

Oh, it'll take a little time,
Might take a little crime
To come undone now

We'll try to stay blind
To the hope and fear outside
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me into cry

Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone?
Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone?

Words, playing me deja vu
Like a radio tune I swear I've heard before
Chill, is it something real
Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers?

(can not forgive from falling apart at the seams
Can not believe you're taking my heart to pieces)

Lost, in a snow filled sky,
we'll make it alright
To come undone now

(can not forgive from falling apart)
Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone?
(can not forgive from falling apart)
Who do you need, who do you love?
(can not forgive from falling apart)
Who do you love
When you come undone?
(can not forgive from falling apart)

One Last Glimpse,

 ~K