I've always been told I'm "psychic-ly gifted". No...I can't tell you what the lottery numbers are because I don't know them. I have "heard" people's thoughts in the past, and am more "open" to the exchange of energy and communications. I know some people may to just go "unfollow" at this point and for that I'm sorry if you do but I understand. But what you have to understand is it's how I was raised, and it's what I believe in. And having lived with a few too many unexplained things in my life that can ONLY be explained away with this...well again, it's what I choose to believe in.
I believe in out of body experiences, I believe in ghosts, spirits, the after-life and the communication there in. I believe in ESP...hell I believe in ESPN if a good game is on. (kidding!) I read tarot cards, I believe in muses, angels and spiritual guides. I believe in telepathy, the use of crystals, I understand the concept of feeding off each others energy. I understand the whole they feel good, you feel good even though you're separated by the miles mentality. I get that. And I have to say that my mind is every which way right now while I'm sitting here at work. It's like I can't sit still and I'm hyper as hell.Seriously though...it's insane.
SOMEONE (without naming names...*cough* John) needs to go run around the Arena about 20 times and burn some of his energy. It's almost like having a child going "Are we there yet?" about 100 miles an hour in your ear. For the love of 'dWog' go for a run, go lift a car, go. do. something!! I mean don't get me wrong, I don't mind. I really REALLY don't mind being 'open' but...oh.my.God. Take up a hobby. Cross stitch, knitting, competitive Hungarian basket weaving...SOMETHING! On the other hand...No...don't. I truly do love it. I guess it makes me feel...useful? Wanted? I don't know quite how to put it.
I've always been "open". I used to read my Mom's mind when I was really young I guess is how it started. I was probably 3 or 4. She was driving me to pre-school one day and I turned to her in the car and said something to the effect of how I didn't want whatever it was for lunch I wanted something else. I guess she about drove off the road because she was fairly confident that she hadn't been muttering to herself about what she was going to make me, but just to make sure she decided she was going to conduct a little experiment the next day. The next day driving me to school, again she thought about what she'd make me for lunch...this time something completely different. And I REMEMBER turning to her and saying "Oh Mommy! I'd love grilled cheese for lunch!".
My Mom took me to see a friend of hers around that time who did psychic readings and what not. She stopped in to drop something off to her class (I don't recall what she taught I just remember it was a classroom of sorts -- although I don't think it was a classroom in a conventional sense). We walked in - she spun around from talking to someone else - looked at me and said to my Mom "WOW Gail...she's just all sorts of open!!!". COOL! I can kill people with my mind!!! Okay...not quite. But wouldn't THAT be awesome?
I guess what's funny to me is that I have these little 'dreams' or 'conversations' with the guys, with other people...living AND passed (like my Mom who passed away 15+ years ago)...but it wasn't until as I was writing this that I had the recollection that my Mother had the EXACT same thing.
When my sister was very little (probably 1 or 2 - before I was born) My Mom went to see my Grandma Tillie in the nursing home (My Grandfather's Mother) she lived in. My Mom had with her a 'recent' photo of my sister to show her . My Grandma Tillie was almost normally (at that point) pretty much catatonic. She'd had a stroke, and couldn't talk, was in a wheelchair and so therefore sadly trapped in her own body; which had betrayed her; like a prison.
My Grandmother had met Kristen before (before she'd had her stroke) so she knew that my Mom and Dad had had her already. My Mom arrived, talked to her (to no response of course), and eventually showed her a more recent photo of Kristen and said to her "This is your Grand daughter Kristen...do you remember her?". At which point my docile, catatonic Great Grandmother went batshit. Like I said she'd had a stroke, so she couldn't talk...but I guess she started to cry and moan and yell. My Mother was in tears because she'd upset her Grandmother and the staff told her to leave. Shortly after that Grandma Tillie passed away. One night she came to my Mother in a "dream" and gave her royal shit for thinking she wouldn't know her own Great Grand-Daughter.
It's never bothered me to be this way. In fact...I love it. I've learned a few things over the years...if I turn away from it...I don't function as well. It's better (for me) to embrace it, and utilize it to the best of my ability. It's a gift that I treasure. It's a gift that I apparently inherited from my Mom...and I'm okay with that.
One Last Glimpse,
~K
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