Final post of 2013: Bring on 2014!

Words of advice and words of counsel to take with you into 2014:

A few token no brainers:

1. Buckle up for safety! (my Grandpa Cecil always told my sister and I this every time we'd drop him off after a visit).

2. Don't drink and drive. (Simple right???)

With those out of the way...we forge forth.

3. Don't take any wooden nickels! (Another from my Grandfather -- who one year for Christmas, gave both my sister and I wooden nickels in our stockings)

4. "All you can eat" can be some of the worst words to ever string together, just like "Mega Family Size". Sometimes you just need to say NO! (Your waistline, heart and knees will thank you later -- but I will concede... it often tastes SOOOO good at the time! LOL)

5. Durantime means just that. No set time. Whenever Duran gets around to it...and even if they give you a set time/date/month doesn't mean squat. Get used to it. (And while you're at it -- shut up about it, they still don't OWE you anything)

6. Judge yourself a little less and love yourself a little more. (I'm talkin' to you string-bean!) (Calling someone "String-bean" is a term of endearment from my Dad...He often refers to people he loves as that or "Sweet-pea")

And finally...and quite possibly the most IMPORTANT words of wisdom I could possibly give you:

7. Just because coats CAN float....doesn't mean they SHOULD float, no matter how much they beg or want to leap into pools of water randomly -- not every restaurant has their own dryer to toss your coat into to try to dry it out. (I'm just sayin!)

Safe and happy 2014!
Catch you on the flip side!

One Last Glimpse,

~K

New Year's Revolution

It's coming close to that time where everyone makes New Years Resolutions. People resolve to be nicer, lose weight, not swear as much, quit smoking, quit drinking, to go after their dreams. I stopped doing resolutions years ago because I decided that if I wanted to quit/start something I was just going to do it and I didn't need it to be a new year to go for it.

It is my thought; after a lengthy discussion with a dear friend of mine; that we are going to have a New Year's Revolution instead. A revolution of enlightenment, a revolution of self, a revolution of art, word and musicality. I'm not making promises to myself I won't keep -- just a promise of self exploration. A promise of helping change the universe for the better, and hopefully, maybe helping myself in turn.

Viva la resistance! Viva la revolution!

Vendi, Vedi, Vici

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Website Obsessions - What I've followed in 2013

I thought I'd do something a little different for this entry, and I'll likely explore this again in the future. I know we all do our own web surfing, places we like to explore and look at. I love it though when someone shares a good or kitschy website that's a little less populated and a whole lot under appreciated. Some of these fall under that category, some don't -- but all are very cool, very interesting and each have something fantastic share. I have collected together some of my favorite websites to check out. Some would have definitely crossed your path. Others... not so much with the crossing paths, but they are outstanding in my opinion and need to be shared. So, let's get on with this shall we?

Phoenix's Phenomenal Food Inventions 
Phoenix...A young chap who is all of 8 years of age, who has a panache for the culinary arts. He's quick with recipes, ideas, knows what he likes and what he doesn't -- and hopes that you'll like it too! Don't worry guys it's nothing like peanut butter and oysters or anything like that. These are tried and true recipes, complete with instructions, photographs and a review of his own skill and abilities. Check it out! You won't be disappointed!

Julie Anne Rhodes' Personal Chef Approach
Julie Anne Rhodes is a Personal Chef. She teaches the tricks of the trade in how to use her revolutionary PCA (Personal Chef Approach) to feed your family healthy, nutritious meals for that busy family on the go. With Julie Anne's help of weekly menus, meal planning, recipes and hands on help from Julie Anne herself, it's a helpful and beneficial website...not just beneficial on your time, but on your pocket book as well.

Pinterest
This site should come with a warning label. **WARNING: ADDICTIVE!!** You can pretty much look up anything on this site. Photographs to look at, Photographs for ideas, Photographs that lead to websites for how-to's. Photographs that lead to websites on where to purchase the items you were looking at in the first place. ADDICTIVE. I love it.

Instagram
For whatever reason, I have always loved looking at other people's photos. Their travels, their good times. Even if I had no clue about who the people were, where the places were or what was going on at the time - I LOVE looking at photos. This little gem feeds that addiction. Not only can I look at photographs that other people have taken, but I can follow people (much like Twitter, Pinterest or Facebook) and see the photos that they have taken and comment on them as well! Luuurrve!!!

Messy Nessy Chic
Ahhh Messy Nessy. This little gem was shown to me via Facebook by my friend Rachel I believe. It had an entry about an apartment in Paris (I think?) that had been abandoned since World War 2 - everything in the apartment had been left EXACTLY the way the owner had left it all those years ago. Old letters, artwork, magazines...a life frozen in time. It FASCINATED me. Since then, this little website has had entries about the 1920s, urban decay, abandoned buildings, cities and the like. Very cool.

Beautiful Colours - Deena Roth - Photographer
Deena Roth has a fantastic eye for photography. Period. She captures colours, expression, emotion in a single shot. Her world travels are bright, emotional, colourful and expressive - much like the photographer herself. See the world through the lens of Deena Roth. Anyone can take a picture but, Deena Roth knows how to take a photograph.

Jewelry by Jodi Zulueta
Jodi Zulueta makes some beautiful jewelry. She tailor makes every piece she sells, and will do custom pieces as well. As a large fan of the TV show Supernatural, she enjoys making pieces revolving around the show. Her blog entries speak of her travels to different Supernatural conventions, and the times she has there. It's a great, fun website. This great lady has so much talent it is evident that a piece of her heart goes into every item she makes. Once you're done reading her fun and funny entries - you can check out even more of her wonderful pieces (not all orientated towards Supernatural) at her Etsy shop.  Eldwenne's Etsy Shop 

Drums, Guitars, Tattoos & Guyliner
These ladies know how to rock. Hands down. And they have a great time doing it. See rock and roll through their eyes. Keep up on the latest tours, interviews and album releases with these ladies. You may even learn some new music, or new bands along the way! (I know I have!) They review albums, concerts and share some of their personal photos taken from gigs along the way! Rock on!

You can find Drums, Guitars, Tattoos & Guyliner, Beautiful Colours Photography, Eldwenne's Fantasy, Messy Nessy Chic and Personal Chef Approach all on Facebook and/or Twitter.

I hope you guys enjoy checking out some of these websites. Like I said, some you've probably heard of, some maybe not. But all have something to offer...check 'em out!

One Last Glimpse,

~K

***If you don't see your website/blog listed here - don't worry...I'll be doing another entry like this early spring.***

Mission Accomplished: Christmas Shopping 2013

For whatever reason this year outside of putting up my Christmas tree, I have been lacking for Christmas cheer. I have put off my shopping till the last moment almost, and outside of buying 3 very small things online -- up until yesterday, I had done no Christmas shopping whatsoever. None. Zip. Zero. Nadda. Rien. Zilch. I haven't even sent out my Christmas cards yet. (SORRY GUYS!) They'll get gone, I just need to get to the post office and get them done.

Yesterday, was not that day.

I woke up yesterday, knowing I had to go Christmas shopping. KNOWING that if I was going to go, yesterday was the day to do it. With the hubby's anxieties, we don't go to the mall like we used to - and that's fine. I especially wouldn't subjugate him to it at Christmas Time. That's just a recipe for disaster. So I went with my daughter Jessy before I dropped her off at her girlfriend's house.

Of course I couldn't get her Christmas gifts as she was with me, so we wandered aimlessly around Walmart (word to the wise, if you don't HAVE to go to Walmart during the holiday season, unless you go in the middle of the night to one of these 24 hour ones -- STEER CLEAR!!). How we managed to get out of Walmart unscathed I'll never know.

People on the road piss me off, although I've never flipped anyone off - I take advantage of my horn. I don't often road rage, although I do rant to myself and passengers if people piss me off. Yesterday was just such an occasion. After the chaos that was Walmart, even though we came out unscathed -- I was at my boiling point.

I was more than half way out of my spot to leave when this jackwagon (nicest thing I can call him), came literally careening around the corner and barreling down the lane way. I could see him coming and knew he wasn't going to stop for me - even though I was more than half way out of my parking spot. So I stopped and let him pass, had I not - said jackwagon would have most definitely taken off my rear end.

I grumbled about that, and then just as I pull out of my spot and drive up to a stop sign someone opposite me (just as I'm about to proceed) breezes through his opposing stop sign and scoots down past me to go down my lane way. I have to explain that he sort of had to do an 's' curve as it wasn't a straight shot across (if you get my meaning).

At this point my temper boils over. I grabbed onto the steering wheel (while we're at a full stop) shake and throttle it while "sounding my barbaric yawp" as Walt Whitman put it. It didn't accomplish anything other than making me feel better. Once I did that, I felt a calm wash over me and we proceeded on. My daughter sort of looked at me and asked me "Feel better now?".

And truthfully, I did.

At the end of the day I achieved my goal, that of completing my Christmas shopping. Outside of a couple of stocking stuffers (chocolates and the like). Christmas gift getting 2013 is a done deal. Mission accomplished.

Now I just have to wrap all this shit.....

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Wil Wheaton, customer service and home dentistry

Good morning campers!!

I start this entry off with this little reminder: In this usual hustle and bustle of the holiday season people tend to have shorter tempers, loads of anxieties, less willingness to be so cordial either on the road, while waiting in line for gas, or to buy their purchases. Please remember that we cashiers, shop keeps, customer service reps, etc are people too. We don't want to be there or see you wait as much as you don't want to be there or have to wait. But sometimes it's beyond our control...we have no control over the whole debit/credit machines going haywire and not working. We have no control over the asshole in front of you, who cut you off while you were racing equally as fast to get to that gas pump that was open. We have no control over that screaming child and passive aggressive parent who won't do anything about their misbehaving spoiled child while they have a temper tantrum about not getting a treat while the parent tries to bribe them by taking them to Mc Donalds. (I've seen it happen with my very own eyes! Child is having a temper tantrum because Parent won't buy them treat at my store. Mother says to child "now don't touch that... come on -- I'll take you to Mc Donalds!" proceeds to CHASE the child around my store while kid is screaming and carrying on. Mother FINALLY catches child and child throws himself on the ground. Mother picks child up and says she is STILL taking kid to Mc Donalds. WHAT???! I would have gotten a slap to the ass, driven home and put to bed - as would have my kids.) We have no control over these people, their actions or any technology glitch that may happen. I wish we did...but we just don't. So...have a little common courtesy this holiday season and as Wil Wheaton says... "Don't be a dick". (If you don't know who Wil Wheaton is... shame, Shame, SHAME! -- and go educate yerself. https://wilwheaton.net/ http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000696/?ref_=nv_sr_1 )

On a separate note...The last few days have been pretty chaotic in my life outside of work. Hubby had some emergency dental surgery yesterday up at the hospital which came up and came along rather suddenly. But it's over and done with now and outside of the medications he has to take, and some swelling...I think he's all the better for it in the long run. He was in excruciating pain, so much so he couldn't really handle it anymore. I think the words "home dentistry" left his lips at least once. Thankfully, it didn't come to that. All while this was going on, I had to work. Oy vey. LOL

But as things always do, it all worked out in the end. He's on the road to recovery - and I'm off for the next couple days to help him out if he needs help at all. Win/win.

Hubby trying to smile...post surgery - a little swollen...my poor little Chipmunk!

Whatever you do kids, take care of yourself and have fun. You only get one you this incarnation, it would be a shame to waste it. And for the love of jebus...please, please, please discipline your children or go get gas elsewhere. LOL

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Early December ramblings

December already? Jinkies kids we are just flying at seemingly breakneck speed towards the end of 2013 aren't we?? Soon 2013 will be just a memory and 2014 will be upon us. Where does the time go?

We just celebrated (We as in the collective, universal "we" - the royal "we" if you will, not myself exclusively as I am neither American nor am I of the Jewish faith) "Thanksgivukkah" last week. "We" isn't that a funny way to put it? It's sort of like speaking about ones self in the 3rd person...Which drives Kendra crazy by the by. (I am madly cringing at that last sentence and about ready to claw my eyeballs out). I find it pretentious and ridiculous. What purpose; other than sounding like a raging asshat; does it serve? Just say "I" instead of *insert name here* and do us all a favour, there are enough assholes in the world, you don't need your name added to the list do you? I thought not. ***Edit - and lets get one thing straight -- this does not include someone who legitimately has Dissociative Identity Disorder - I'm talking someone who is just an asshat.***

But I digress....Oh and on a side note, please forgive me for the randomness of this post. I've not slept well, and I'm rather mentally scatterbrained this morning.

Now...where were we? Oh yes, Thanksgivukkah (Try saying that ten times fast!) I suppose really it only makes sense to have the two mixed together (Thanksgiving and Hanukkah), it usually takes 8 days to get rid of the last of the leftovers anyway....am I right? And before you say "booooooo" or start sending me hate mail about that last comment. THINK ABOUT IT PEOPLE...I'm speaking from experience here. I'm just trying to help out. In October (When we here in Canada celebrated Thanksgiving) I had turkey in my fridge for just over a WEEK before I finally forced my husband to throw the last of it out. I'm just saying - if we moved Thanksgiving to one of those holidays that wasn't a "set" time, to when ever Hanukkah was celebrated, there would be food AND pressies. Leftovers would get eaten -- it would be win win!

Just do me a favour and think on it. It's just a thought.

I've seen so many people that have posted on Facebook or Twitter saying that they've gotten their Christmas tree up. I haven't yet...I feel like I've been slacking. But truthfully that's not the case at all! I'm dying to get some Christmas going in my house!! But I have a slight problem that I need to muddle through first. I was given; about a month ago; a FANTASTIC gently used living room suite (overstuffed couch, loveseat and chair) which hubby and I are absolutely in love with, but I already have so much junk in my living room - I have absolutely zero room to put up a tree. So, I am currently trying to figure out where I am going to put stuff. My husband and I are debating renting a storage unit (and were before this new furniture came into the house). There are pieces we have in our house currently that are family pieces that we want to keep (Not necessarily keep them IN the house but we don't want to throw them out - hence the storage unit idea.), our place right now is just too small for them. It's looking clatty and unkempt. It doesn't help that I also have a large exercise bike in my living room - which I'd love to use, if I could get to it... So unless I'm going to suspend my Christmas tree from the roof (and don't think I haven't thought on that - I kid!), currently I have nowhere to put my tree. And I am absolutely DYING to put up my tree. I love twinkle lights and the whole thing. It's like a drug to me. A sweet, sweet sparkly, twinkle-y drug.

Don't even get me started on the Christmas gift thing. I haven't done any shopping, and I have no ruttin idea what anyone is getting this year. I told my youngest daughter I was taking the money I was going to spend on her gift this year, and give it to a homeless family. You'd think I'd shot the cat with the look on her face when I said that. I think there's a lesson for her to learn in there somewhere, I'm just not sure how I'm going to teach it to her yet.

And then; post Christmas; we slide into New Year's -- which brings on 2014. The New Year always brings the potential for greatness and this new year approaching is no different. I welcome it with open arms, a positive mind and heart. I welcome the positive change, love and creativeness. The potential where anything could happen...even wonderful things that I can't even conceive of yet.

But I look forward to the possibilities.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

The daughter I never knew we had

5 years ago my life changed, my family changed - for the better. I received a phone call from the school saying that one of my daughters friends (whom I had never met) was in trouble, had gone (with my daughter Jessica) to the police and Jessy wanted to know if her friend could come to our house that evening. I told the school psychologist that if it was a matter of this friend not wanting to go home because she'd gotten into trouble at school or with the school and the police had become involved (ie. fighting) then no, I felt that the child needed to return to her home and face the music. However, if it were a case of - if the child returned home she would be in harms way...she was more than welcome to come to my home. Up until that point the psychologist had not said what had occurred, and she never did (by law, she wasn't allowed to disclose the reason for the going to the police as it did NOT involve the school). Her only response was "I'm pleased to hear that Mrs. Campbell, I'll let Jessy know that her friend can come to your home then". In that moment, I knew what had gone on, what this poor girl had been through and I had never been more proud of my daughter Jessy than I was right then.

In those five years since that day, there have been many tears and much laughter. Court appearances, and of course, a period of adjustment. We've moved away from the memory of that nightmare for her, and since she's started a new and (I'd like to think) happier chapter in her life. Two years ago, for her 18th birthday we offered to her to get her name changed. Adopting a child costs thousands, but this was the next best thing we could do for her - give her OUR last name. Officially, to the world, making her ours. She was elated, there were many tears, and much celebration. She decided not only to change her last name, but her entire identity.

Yesterday, that sweet girl's long journey came to a close. It became official that her name was finally changed to our last name, like she has always belonged and always been one of us. She (Jessy's friend) came home with Jessy that night on that cold winters night almost five years ago, and has never left. But to her (and to us) I think it was much more than finding serenity and a calm port in the storm. Until yesterday, even though we treated her as one of our own from the get go, she has always felt tied to that adoptive family, but with jaded, tarnished and bad memories -- no matter how that relationship started out, it ended poorly. Her life has always been one of rejection until we intervened. A life of no one  having her back, no one she can depend on. And now, here, she has that. And strangely enough, our family feels complete. Our daughter that I never knew we had was out there all along, trying to make her way home.

And yesterday, she finally arrived. My youngest child, my youngest daughter came home. For good.

Daddy hugs his youngest daughter

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Ever the mystery

The mists roll in,
As the rain gently falls,
And there he stands,
Ever the mystery.

Face like an angel,
Heart as pure,
And by his command,
Ever the mystery.

A smile that brings joy and mischief,
Charming, endearing, enchanting,
And he is perfection,
Ever the mystery.

With songs for the ages,
Strong, vibrant, true,
Speaks to the masses,
Ever the mystery.

Affirmations - Let's turn this around.

I'm not sure what the hell has been going on the last few weeks or month or so, but holy shitballs - back the truck up and lets have a do over shall we??? Too many people are getting sick, dying, having serious issues with work, love, live and health in general. Seemingly more so than usual within my realm. What the fuck is up with this shit? Who ordered this crap? I didn't. It's crap and it can go right back to where it came from, ya know??

I realize life is supposed to have it's perils, pit falls and all round general shit goes of it sometimes...but enough is enough already! Holy crap! For the record, I am very grateful as far as I, myself am concerned. I am; for the most part: only on the peripheral - an observer in the current state of the negative aspects of my "realm" and the goings on in it.

So, for those of you who are needing a shoulder, a hug, an ear, white light, blessings, and or love - consider it sent and done. As cheese-tastic as it sounds, it gets better. Make things happen for yourself. You can control your own life: make some noise, make your mark, and go for it.

I believe in you. Always

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Ramblings - Just me

Most of the time I feel like a square peg in a round hole. Or vice versa. I don't feel like I quite fit in anywhere. I have lots of friends, but I think only a true few actually "get" me. This is a song I know I've sang before. I feel awkward and often like an outsider or "not cool enough". I get upset with myself when people get upset with me and still to this day will turn myself into something I'm not in a vain attempt to fit in, even if it's only for a little while.

I think the worst possible feeling for me is when I can't please everyone. It about breaks me. It's an obsession that no matter how hard and how much I try, or how much I want to... I can't change that about myself. And the rational side of me knows - you can't please everyone all the time. I know that. Deep down at my core - I know this... and yet - I can't help myself. If I forget about someone or something - piss them off, or Gods forbid disappoint someone. The more I care about the person, the more that's it for me. I suppose that's only natural really if I stop and think about it.

I used to go into a spiral and shut down. Now, I just become very sad and disappointed with myself until I can snap myself out of it. I know it's not healthy, I wish I could stop myself...but I can't. It's just who and how I'm built. It's difficult not to do it, and I'll admit I am better than I used to be...but sometimes I just can't help it.

And I've seen all those 80s movies that shows how even the "cool kids" feel like they don't fit in sometimes, and how their world falls apart if they disappoint someone. and you'd think at 42 I'd be okay with me and would have stopped feeling this way. Apparently not.

I'm not looking for sympathies - I'm just venting...and opening up to you about who I am and how I tick.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Geeky gamer girl

I've always been a geek gamer girl. My husband and I met in high school and even when we were dating, we played pen and paper D&D together. It only made sense once the internet came along, and MMORPGs came into the picture that we would move to an online game.

Some of you may be thinking to yourself D&D? MMORwhaa??? Well, let me explain. D&D is Dungeons and Dragons. It's all done with pen, paper, dice and imagination. Sometimes with little maps and figurines but rarely with costumes. I KID. Well... mostly. Sometimes it goes full on "Big Bang Theory" but I've never been a part of those groups - although I know they do exist. MMORPG stands for Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. It's where thousands of other people from all over the world log into a game and play at the same time. They can group together and do quests and kill things. Kind of like Castleville, but with actual interaction and not having to wait 20 minutes for someone to send you a piece of cloth.

But I digress...

My husband and I took a temporary split for a couple of years, during that time EverQuest (AKA 'EQ') was released and my husband bought the game. He began playing, and when we reconcilled I can remember watching him play for the first time. He was getting a "port" to "G-Fay" (Greater Faydark) from "The Commonlands". He (or his character) had done something to fall "out of favour" with the druids so he was standing off to the side away from them so he wouldn't be attacked. He began to explain to me the game and I was amazed. He was on his way to attend an in-game wedding (yes people can and often do "marry" one another, or at least their characters do - it's all a role playing thing) at this Paladin guild in Felwithe. My mind reeled as he quickly ran the path through "G-Fay" heading to this place called Felwithe. He had me "drive" his "toon" while he told me where to go, and how to get there (ha,ha). And that; as they say; was that.

For me to say that we went out directly after the wedding festivities were over to get my own copy of "EQ" so that I could create my own account and play, would not be an understatement. I was amazed and instantly engrossed in this game. Mind = blown.

I can remember arriving at Electronic Boutique (now known as EB Games - I believe it's called Game Stop in the states) to see a myriad of other people shopping for computer and console games. I remember seeing one young fellow (about mid 20s or so, not much younger than I) standing holding the very LAST copy of EQ in his hands that the store had to offer, while he also held a copy of "Dark Ages of Camalot" (or DAOC) in his other hand. While he debated and weighed his options, I used my best jedi mind trick to persuade him in the direction of DAOC. I guess it must have worked because he put EverQuest back on the shelf and walked away with Dark Ages of Camalot. If memory serves I quickly snatched it off the shelf where he had put it and quickly walked up to the cash register before he could change his mind. SCORE!

We went home, forgoing getting me a new desk that night (We had just recently moved back in together and I had no desk to speak of, my computer had sat on a TV table for the better part of 2 weeks) as I was eager to install and create my character. On September 21, 2001 one high elf cleric to rule them all...Cheriqui Honeypies was "born".

I have spent countless hours in these online games. Early mornings and late nights. I won't lie, just like Farmville, Castleville or Candycrush -- it can be addicting. I've seen marriages be destroyed by these games, lies, cheating, but I've also seen friendships and true love blossom out of these games.
I'm not a bar going person, so this was and is my outlet. My social scene before Facebook came along.

The Prelate herself: Mistress Cheriqui Honeypies

I've have had the privilege of meeting a few wonderful people during my gaming "career". People I truly call friend both in game and out. We've moved from game to game together, laughed together and even cried together - hell we've even traveled together in a couple of cases! It's been an experience I certainly would not trade for the world.

Recently, SOE (Sony Online Entertainment) announced their latest endeavors into the realm of EverQuest called "EverQuest Next: Landmark" and "EverQuest Next". These have been long talked about "sequels" to EverQuest and EverQuest II. The release dates for these are within reach (I hope!) and I for one can hardly wait!! I am (and forever shall be) obsessed with the lands of Norrath even though I have played many other games since I began playing EQ, and the lands of Norrath themselves have gone through vast changes since I began playing 12 years ago (level upgrades, graphics upgrades) but it still feels like "home" when I log in.

I don't play as often as I used to. The folks who really made the gaming world for me are currently playing other games, but the moment this new game was announced for the EverQuest franchise - all of my old friends were in touch and were excited about the prospect of going back to some new "old" familiar hunting grounds. We'll have to see what happens when this all comes out, but I'm hoping it's sooner rather than later. This geeky gamer girl needs a fix!!!

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Writing, weird dreams and winter. Oh my!

I feel like I'm going through a change. (No, not that change... that's a few years off I suspect). A metamorphosis if you will. I can feel myself changing, growing both mentally and metaphysically. I can't explain it. It just...is. I wouldn't say I'm evolving...but at the same time I would. Learning, growing, broadening my mind and stretching my wings.

Many have said there's a revolution afoot. And I'm not so sure I'd disagree. It's a time for change. Change in the way we think, change in the way we work, an artistic revolution...a peaceful revolution. Out with the old, and in with the new. Time to take a risk, take a chance and dare to dream. Perhaps even return to an ancient way of thinking with a modern twist. Everything else has been tried...why not try a way of things that hasn't been tried in a millennium or more. But with the technologies and thought processes and knowledge of today. A rebirth and revolution is afoot and that may just be the key.

I'm slowly writing again. Something I've not done in a while. I've missed it. But my writing 'voice' has changed. Switched focus and matured. But not here on my blog...These are still as I have pretty much always written them. Just as if we were talking, carrying on a conversation. Only, I'm the one doing all the talking. Savvy?

I like the direction things are going with my writing, I can see a shape forming and I like it. I've got a direction again. The winds of inspiration are blowing again, the muses and I are back on speaking terms...and that's a good thing. I feel alive...which is funny considering the world (in my neck of the woods) is in the throws of going into it's winter slumber.

On a very slight (MASSIVE) topic tangent... let me speak about my dream I had last night. Last night's dreams were completely weird. Even for me. I dreampt of some twisted sort of "Hunger Games" (almost literally) that my husband was involved in. The final task being some sort of eating contest involving cannibalism, but it was supposed to be 'okay' because the person who they were supposed to dine upon had donated their body when they passed (and had passed naturally). The body had been 'prepared' (read: cooked and literally prepared for eating). It was some sort of honour by the sounds of things and when I questioned my husband, reminding him that he was eating an actual person (that he would have to chew, swallow and keep down) -- he seemed fine with it because it was for a lot of money (10 million dollars or something) and prestige and the person who he was eating had died and donated his body specifically for that purpose. "It's not like he was murdered or anything like that". Apparently, that was supposed to make all of it okay.Talk about taking one for the team!! YUCK!

Then I was in some sort of body shop or garage and there was this stream running down the center of it, there were these little rabbit holes that had cats poking their heads out of them. They were just sort of sitting there just looking around. I remember when I crossed this stream I was barefoot and had to step into the water, but when I stepped out...there was a leach on my foot. I sat down and was picking leaches off my feet and off of other people's feet as well. I have no idea what that meant.

And then there was some sort of quiddich/american football/basketball type game without brooms that was going on. These people dressed in football uniforms flying up and down this football sized field, indoors in the dark (with spot lights), trying to put foot balls through these hoops that hung all along the sides of the field and one at each end. If you got a basket touchdown on the side hoops you got 2 points, one in the end? You got 5. But the players flew....without brooms. Weiiiiiiiird!

For the record, no...I neither drank nor smoked ANYTHING before going to bed.

This is all me - au naturel. SCARY!

Anyway, I think that's it for now. Some exciting things coming up in the next week or so, but I'll save those for some other entries.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Dream a little dream of ... theaters.

I had a dream last night I bought an older, large movie theater. You know the type, one of the "old school" type ones that only had 2 screens that occasionally have a balcony (this one, as far as I can recall did not - at least not in the "main theater"). The "main theater" room was MASSIVE for a movie theater...I'd guess 600 seats or more (complete with a very heavy red velvet curtain with gold brocade) stadium seating...no balcony. The second much smaller theater (100 seats at most) was long and narrower, with a rich royal blue velvet curtain (with the same gold brocade). I don't remember looking up or behind me in the second, smaller theater so there very well could have been a balcony that I didn't see.

The front foyer and main lobby was very ornate....lots of marble and art deco-y in style. The paint was very bright, theatrical and bordering on almost gaudy. It was a bright baby pink with a stark white trim and black carpet with a golden metal runner. Very art deco colours, but very over the top. It was great. Everything you'd want in a theatrical theater. You know? I actually want to say that the lobby in my dream was modeled after a theater in my hometown, but I can't be sure on that. I have a vague recollection of the theater colour palate but it may have not been the same.

I remember that I dreampt that there was a major mall that was built around this theater that I bought. The theater itself had sat back down this alleyway off a main street. Everything around the theater was demolished and this large mall was built around it. The first 10 feet or so of the front of the theater building was inside the mall, jutted out so even the front facade wasn't removed...everything about the theater was left in tact. Even the brickwork at the front with the marquee majestically hanging out as well. 

An older theater in my hometown (since demolished) similar to the one in my dream (on a slightly smaller scale).

The theater; while it mainly showed movies; also had a stage that could house live theater, orchestras, bands and in the past had staged vaudeville acts as well. I remember walking through this MASSIVE theater with my friends Deena, Suzi and Maya We were waiting for other friends of ours to arrive as well. I THINK I had managed (somehow) to pursuade Duran Duran to perform at my opening, it was a private function and no one knew about it, like it was supposed to be a surprise...but I'm not 100% on that. I think I had told my friends that they thought they were just coming to see the theater I'd bought and be there for my grand opening. The thing is...I don't remember ever SEEING Duran in my dream, I just remember thinking to myself "I can't believe I've pulled this off without anyone knowing that they're coming!".

I also remember there were these kids (probably 20 or so) sitting in the theater (kids probably between the ages of 6 and 8 or so) watching Bugs Bunny cartoons on the big screen while we were walking through looking around. The house lights weren't completely down, just down enough not to be a distraction to the cartoon watching. In retrospect, I want to say it was something like Beaver and Brownie troops or something like that sitting watching the cartoons. I think I had hosted some sort of "Welcome to the theater/Welcome to the community" come watch Saturday morning cartoons for these children.

Sadly, I woke up before the rest of my friends could arrive or the guys. I remember looking up at this massively wide stage at one point (the curtains were completely pulled back and you could see the brick back of the wall behind the screen). And I remember thinking to myself that Simon had a LOT of space to roam and cover during the show.

It's not the first time I've dreampt of owning a theater. And quite likely won't be the last. Who knows, maybe I've owned one in a past life or maybe someday I'll own one. Who knows...

One Last Glimpse,

~K

If you don't have anything nice to say...

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"

Human nature and behavior fascinates me. It's also frustrating as hell, but that's besides the point. I often ponder the hows and the whys of the ways we think and the things we do. Perhaps I should have taken several people's advice saying I should have been a psychologist or a psychiatrist but alas, I didn't.

I've never (for example – because this instance just reared it's ugly head in a friend of mine's life) understood the reasoning behind people bullying and saying such negative things about others. What does it get them? Does it do something for them? Does it make them feel better about themselves? And what's often funny is that the people who do these things and say these things are quite often (more than not) in a position where they know the devastating effects that bullying has. Either they have experienced first hand themselves or they have bared witness to the effects of someone they love dearly that bullying and slandering has had.

But almost always, the person who starts the slandering and bullying takes offense to when the tables are turned and it is done in kind. So why start it? It goes back to the question of: What do you get out of it? Is your existence that meaningless and pitiful that you can dish it out but you can't take it?

I've never bared witness to such behavior as these anywhere else, except for online. And it is a no holds barred type behavior. These people, these supposed "mature responsible adults", resorting to slanderous comments, name calling and lies. Duplicitous behaviors and backstabbing also run rampant. WHY?

It's infuriating. And it's more than a little embarrassing when you're associated with the perpetrator(s) (thankfully I'm not in this specific case although once upon a time I was).

It's funny (not in a ha ha funny) in a way, I know for a fact that this person who is saying these things has had her own child bullied, so you'd think that they themselves would be an advocate to stop such behaviors. Sadly, this is not the case. Only when it suits them, does it behoove them to do so.

I'm not saying we all have to get along. That would be damn near impossible. But if you don't like someone, shut the hell up and be about your own business and let other people live their own lives. Peacefully. Don't stir up unwanted or needed crap about people. Especially people you have nothing to do with. In the end, it only makes you look like a cold hearted, mean person. And what's the point in that?

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt"

One Last Glimpse,

~K

The prodigal return of JT

Really? Really kids? Do we need to revisit this again? I thought we'd been over this, and had it cleared up. But clearly, by all the slagging and mud slinging, bitching and whining that is not the case whatsoever.

Let me spell it out for you in small words. John. Owes. You. Nothing. Who he is, does, where he goes, is NOT our business. (This goes for all the guys). If you're a fan, shut up, be a fan and leave it at that.

There was no alternate reason (nor any reason to think otherwise) other than the one John himself gave for going on his self imposed Twitter break. And those who go searching for other reasons why are nothing but rumor mill mongers.

John's return to Twitter can easily be answered in a few answers. They're the same reasons why he joined Twitter (and everyone started following him to being with). He's promoting something he's proud of. Are you trying to tell me that was insincere as well? I think not.

He's a business man, he's a smart and savvy one at that. He knew at 17 what he wanted from life and achieved it by his 20s. Not many can say that. I certainly can't. You should be proud of him, and for his accomplished and ashamed of yourselves, those of you who are rumor mongering and searching for something that isn't there.

Will he stay on Twitter after his Tweet-fest to promote his book? I hope so, but honestly I'd have second thoughts if I were him if this is the way his return is going to be received. So he's coming back to promote the paperback release...so what? Who cares? He joined twitter to promote AYNIN, so why wouldn't he return now?

Instead of slagging him off and calling him insincere, perhaps you should be proud of his accomplishments instead. If he hadn't had his life, traveled this path and been the person he is – I think all of our lives would be different than they are.

I'm proud of you John. Always. Should you choose to stay after your promotion Tweet-fest this week, I look forward to reading your Tweets and interacting with you. Should you choose to become silent again for a while; I for one; will be waiting for you when you get back.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Dreaming of distant times....

Dear readers:

  I have been neglectful, again. But truthfully I've not had much to say. Life has plodded along, same old same old. Nothing new to report. My Mom always said if you had nothing nice to say...don't say anything at all. And it's not that I didnt have anything nice to say, I just hate to ramble in these posts. So I figued it was best I say nothing. But know, that I have missed you and this blog. And we'll see what happens.


~K


I often have odd dreams. Peculiar even. I've dreampt in 3^rd person, where I'm watching myself (as if watching a movie) in a dream. I've had lucid dreams where I'm aware that I'm dreaming, and able to alter an manipulate the course of the dream if I don't like the direction the dream is going. But never have I dreampt about myself and interacted with myself in a dream – until last night.

I dreampt I was at a party (at first seemingly as if I were watching a fully immersible virtual reality movie). I could see myself (much younger) sitting at a table with family and childhood friends. It was evening, and judging by the way people were dressed, most likely summer. I could even see the colourful patio lanterns that we had when I was young out on our back patio. They brightly lit up outside of the window that my younger self had her back to.

My younger sister-in-law, Christine stood beside the current me at one point (she was a child) asking my younger self for something or about something, but I have no idea what that may have been or why she was there. She didn't seem to notice the older me, or if she did – she said nothing.

I remember at one point I followed myself down the hall towards the bedrooms. The house as I remember it to be when I was 3 or 4. When I arrived to where my bedroom would have been, the dream shifted slightly and I was standing in the hallway of my maternal Grandparents home. Their home was similar to ours and around the corner.

I was standing in the bedroom doorway looking at myself and another young girl, who now I'm uncertain as to who it was, although I believe at the time I knew. I asked “How old are you here?” looking down at my younger self. “Five and a half.” I replied proudly but with a slight tone of “you should know that” that I am all too familiar with. Such attitude!

I nodded, turned on my heel (noting to myself that I was only 4 or so when we had moved out of the house I had been dreaming of), and entered my Grandparents bedroom. I looked over my Grandmother's dresser for something and then walked towards her cedar chest. I'm aware I'm looking for something, but I'm also aware I have no idea what that “something” is.

I saw my Mom standing just inside the doorway and I began apologizing to her for sending her “the letter”. She insists that it is fine and not to worry about it. I have no idea (even as I was dreaming it) what letter I'm talking about or referring to. Not a clue.

I don't ever recall writing my mother a letter of any significance. I just know I was quite upset about sending her this letter – whatever it was and desperately wanted her forgiveness for it.
I can remember embracing her and being able to actually smell her perfume in my nose. It was calming, and comforting. Her birthday is approaching this week - and I'd like to think that maybe she paid me a visit so I could give her a hug for her birthday.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Little girl gone to the big city

Hello dear readers. Yes, I've been remiss.... and I apologize. I am a bad, bad blogger.


Now that we have THAT out of the way.....

My eldest daughter is on vacation this week in Los Angeles. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a nervous wreck, mostly while she's flying (I don't like to fly) so I get nervous when those I know and care about, are flying.

She is in California to visit with some friends that she's known for probably about 5 or 6 years now. They're all going to the same anime convention which she has been planning for the better part of 8 months. She saved (most of) the money herself and her Dad and I were very happy to let her and make sure she was able to go.

I know she's with a great group of friends so I'm not concerned about her safety. She's a smart kid, with a good head on her shoulders (most of the time LOL). So I know the most trouble she'd get into would be staying up late to watch some anime movie she'd never seen before (OOOOOO!!!). I know, I know a rebel just like her Mom. (NOT!)

This latest plane crash in San Francisco has me a little freaked out. I have to say I'm not going to be comfortable until she finds her way back to this time zone and I know she has landed SAFELY in Detroit.

Is that odd? I'm not worried about her being in LOS ANGELES....but I'm more concerned about her flying. I guess it's because in this day and age of internet and networking, I know so many people who would absolutely be there in a heartbeat if need be who are in the Los Angeles area if there were an emergency that I'm not worried about it. You know?

In any event I'm going to squoosh my "little girl" when she gets home on Wednesday just that little bit extra and make her eyeballs bug out a little once she's home safe and sound on terra firma.

One Last Glimpse,


~K

Let's play "Catch up!"

I'm not sure what's going on with me lately. I am all over the map. I scatterbrained, unsettled and anxious. I have written next to nothing in the last 6 weeks, and honestly I'm not sure why. It's not that I'm uninspired to do so, I just...haven't.

I just turned 42 ten days ago, and I had a nice quiet birthday. Which was nice. We didn't do much, it was just us...and we had a good time. We decided at the last minute to go out for sushi for dinner (which - I LOVE probably more than I should), which was fantastic.

I went to see New Kids on the Block with 98 Degrees and Boys II Men with my youngest sister in law, and of course we had a great time doing that. It's the third time I've seen them (New Kids) and they put on a very high energy, fantastic show. But, I think this may have been the best show yet and yet, I can't put my finger on as to why. The first time was here at home in London. Mary and I went we went with my other sister in law Megan - which was a good time. We went to dinner before, and enjoyed ourselves for the most part. The second time was in Toronto, but this time it was 3 of my sisters in law and I (Mary, Megan and Maureen) and it was New Kids with Backstreet Boys. Our seats sucked...but the show was good. But this time it was just Mary and I - our seats were good, and the show was awesome.

I can't sleep tonight. Something I'm relatively used to - I tend to go through about a week of this in the summer. I'm not sure why. It's annoying, but it is what it is and I'm used to it...sort of. Unfortunately it's not happening on days when I'm off. But, it's okay - I'm sure I'll survive.

I'm hoping next week we can look at houses. I'm actually dying to get out of where we're living now. I'm due for a change of scenery. It's not that this place is horrible or anything, but I can't put "my mark" on where we are now. We're renting and we would only have to repaint or have it repainted when we moved out, and I don't want to have to do that. We're in a position that we can finally start looking (I hope!) and I've seen a few online that I quite like. So...we'll see. I'll keep you posted.

Promise!!

One Last Glimpse,

~K

I don't do horror flicks

A friend of mine this evening mentioned that the movie "The Exorcist" is going to be at the movie theater near where she lives. I don't do scary movies. I'm not the kind of person you want to take to a scary movie. I'm the kind of person who sits there with her fingers in her ears, and my eyes closed. If I don't I jump at every little thing and will open up my mouth and scream like a little girl. No joke. Seriously.

The first time (and ONLY time) I ever saw "The Exorcist" was a rainy Sunday afternoon with my friend Nat. She was DYING to see it, her parents had gone out for the afternoon and we had the big screen TV ALL to ourselves. We walked over to the local variety store, rented the movie and got our snacks and strolled back to her place to settle in.

I can remember my Mom telling me two things about two specific scary movies when they were released. The movie "Psycho" and "The Exorcist" had both made people literally run screaming from the movie theater when they were released. Fan.Tastic. But I was about 15 or so, and it was daylight after all, so being the cocky teen that I was - I could handle it. Right? WRONG.

I spent the next 2 hours curling my hair in my friend Nat's bathroom with my friend Nat yelling "KEN! COME SEE!!!" And me saying "Nope! I'm good!" from the bathroom. I was working on some KICK ASS 80's big ass rocker hair. For two hours.

At the time, Nat was dating this guy who had been raised Catholic. Fairly devout if memory serves. JUST as Linda Blair having "THE" scene with the crucifix... in comes the boyfriend. And there's Linda Blair screaming "Fuck me...". I answer the door, Linda Blair is screaming and masturbating and the boyfriend says to me "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WATCHING???!" Technically I wasn't watching anything, I was seeing how big I could get my hair (and likely singing Duran Duran, Triumph, Kiss, Poison or Motley Crue into the mirror), but you get the idea.

I don't remember the end of The Exorcist, and I guess technically I've only ever seen bits and pieces of it, but what I saw was plenty for me.

So, I don't do the big scary movies. I don't mind a good mind fuck movie (in fact I LOVE those! The Ring -- I LOVED....except for the end), but I can't do horror flicks. I'm just too big of a wimp.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Inspiration comes in the strangest forms

Inspiration can come from the oddest of places. Sometimes it's something big and bold and flashy like a musical number with 76 trombones and a big parade. (Sorry if THAT song is stuck in your head for the rest of the day you musical lovers, but rest assured the entire score of "The Music Man" is now permeating my inner earwurm. So, you are not alone.). Sometimes it's a photograph or piece of imagery you capture a glimpse of. Or sometimes, it's something you read that inspires.

The other day, I read; by random chance; a blunt, frank, honest, beautiful, heart breaking, bold, articulate, intelligent blog entry by a young woman named Zoe Nash-Taylor. Who is; like all young women her age; pushing her boundaries and finding out "who she wants to be when she grows up". But her entry was so inspiring and ahead of where I know I was at her age maturity wise (even though I had 2 children at that point). I think, if she is recognizing and finding herself at such a young age (22), what I didn't/wouldn't/couldn't see in myself until I was 40 - she will go far in this world.

This entry has touched me deeply and came at a time in my life where I found myself stagnant. Stagnant in my writing, photography, bass playing...just about anything artistic. And my weight loss; that ever constant noose around my neck; has found a new inspiration too. Now, after reading this entry, by this young woman whom I've never met, by random happenstance, I realize that she has lit that fire again in me that I was missing and that I let dwindle over the last few months. I can never thank her enough for that kick in the pants that I was so sorrily needing.

I think I had forgotten, somehow in these last few months that I'm not just 'okay' and I let those same old fears creep in. Those 'what ifs'. She reminded me in  her entry that I'm not alone, and I am worthy of being me and that I am worth something. She reminded me people DO love me unconditionally and I am worthy of that love and that I love them back just as fiercely.

I look to the future with promise and inspiration. Promise in myself, promise of the best me I can be and inspiration that I was lacking to continue my own personal journey.

And to you Zoe; should you read this; I'd like to give you a few words of wisdom if I may. As cliche as this is going to sound, as 80's John Hughes movie it may be... don't aim to be who your parents are, or who you think they want you to be. They had their own journey and story to write in this big, crazy world. They made their own mistakes, and crosses to bear no matter how successful they are. If you spend your life comparing yourself to the mark they left, no matter how far you get - you will perceive it to be a short coming by comparison. Be who you are, be yourself, who you want to be. Don't define yourself by your friends or family and don't try to live up to what you think their standards are. I honestly thought my parents had lofty standards for my sister and I, unobtainable ones. In the end, they just wanted my sister and I to be happy. Your family will love you and be proud of you no matter what. Your true friends will always be there for you...and if they're not there when you need them the most, be wary. You've got "it". You know you do, you just need to let go of those "what ifs" and take the leap.

I look forward to hearing about and from you in the future young lady, you've got spunk, fire and talent and I admire you. THANK YOU for inspiring me and reminding me of something I'd forgotten.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Gas Bar Glamazon: Mess with the bull...you know the rest.

I know I'm cranky today. I know I'm bordering on miserable. I know my period is coming and I slept for complete and utter shite last night. BUT...I have kept myself remarkably in check today and haven't snapped or been snarky to anyone. Well...almost no one.


I just had a gentleman in on the now infamous outside line (Pay at the pump). To his credit he DID try to pay with his credit card at the pump first. I'm not sure why it wouldn't work. I just know that it kept refusing his card. I politely informed him how to insert his card, and if it didn't work he would have to come inside to do a pre-pay OR alternatively move to a different inside pump.


I'm busy right now – I wasn't earlier, but I am now...I don't have time for bullshit and stupidity or attitude. I can see him out of the corner of my eye trudging in towards me. I don't think he was any older than 60 (at oldest) but I can tell he's got an attitude. He comes in and proceeds to wing the card toward me informing me “There's NOTHING wrong with MY card!!” and then in a snarky tone adds “Yet another reason to go back to Shell I guess.”.


WRONG ATTITUDE TO PULL. Now, I got a little put out by this boys and girls and I MAY have retorted something along the lines of: “If you'd like to go to Shell, I can cancel this prepay if you like.”. I have never seen anyone of my customers look at me quite as shocked as he did. But I was annoyed, pissed off and more than a little bit put out. I don't get paid enough to take anybody's crap or attitude – and if you want to go else where to get your gas – by all means – have at it.


He stared at me as I extended his card and receipt out to him (for his prepay) and when he didn't take it, I said “WELL?” in a rather...I'll admit it...huffy tone. He took the card back from me THANKED ME in a COMPLETELY different tone, smiled and went out to his car, pumped his gas and left.


BWAHAHAHHAA


One Last Glimpse,


~K

Sleep? What's that?

I didn't sleep well last night. In fact, I should still be in bed. It's 5:54am, I've been up for a little over a half an hour now and I just could not get back to sleep -- so here I am. I have to work today at 3pm (fabulous) and I've had probably 3-4 hours of sleep at this point (fantastic). So I will definitely be going back for a nap before work today...that is, assuming I'll be able to sleep.

As I sit here at write this, I'm feeling very strange. Like with every motion, I feel almost like I'm out of my body. This kids, is what lack of sleep does to me. Not good. I feel very puppetized (I know that's not a word) or marionette like. I feel like every movement I make is deliberate and calculated and not my own.

I know I'll feel better once I get a little more sleep. Outside of feeling "not myself" I feel fine. It's just an odd feeling, know what I mean?

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Rest in peace: Art Christmas

As I have mentioned before my Mom (when I was a child) belonged to a local singing group. Today I found out that their leader/conductor passed away. I am completely broken up over this. I feel as though I have lost another piece of my childhood.

I haven't had contact with Art in many years (probably about 10 or so). But our last communication (after my Mom passed away) was via email and was very sweet and endearing. He spoke in high regard of my Mom, sister and I.  This was a man who clearly cared about those who had touched his life.

So as I sit here, shedding tears intermittantly I think of you Art Christmas, and all the laughter, charisma and song you brought into my life. Thank you so very much for those treasured memories. I can almost hear you, Uncle Ken and Mom singing and laughing up a storm already.

Rest in peace Art.

~K

Humorous tale from a Gasbar Glamazon

As much as I bitch about my customers... every now and again I get one that absolutely makes my day and sometimes on rare occasion makes my week. Today I had just such a customer.

It's Sunday, and it's gorgeous out. The kind of day where you'd rather be ANYWHERE but at work let alone indoors at work. I didn't want to work today, but unfortunately don't have an alternative. I have not won the lottery (yet!!) and until I do...you do the best with what you have. Know what I mean sweethearts?

A gentleman comes in, not too much older than I – probably 5 to 8 years and walks over to our “automotive” shelves. He spies what he needs grabs it and walks over to me placing two containers of break fluid down in front of me. At which point he declares without hesitation: “I've gone soft, I hate it when that happens.” I tilt my head sort of like a dog trying to do a math puzzle, honestly debating on if I should burst out laughing (the voices in my head WAY ahead of me on that one) or just let it slide. At which point HE hangs his head and chuckles and says “Well that was highly inappropriate. I am so VERY sorry.”. So I burst out laughing, and as I'm laughing I can feel my face go scarlet.

I said to him “I'm not sure what to say, I've never had this happen to me before”. At which point HIS face goes beat red and he starts laughing. I realize I'm only making matters worse, but I've gotten a laugh so I'm okay with that.

He says to me, again apologizing “I've taken the last two. I'm sorry.” I said “Well, whoever comes along behind you soft, looking for help is going to be told to go elsewhere then I guess because I'm tapped out and spent.”

This brings a roar of laughter from this gentleman whose name I don't even know. At which point his receipt pops out of the machine and our “transaction” is complete. I ask him if he wants his receipt to which he replies that he “wants no evidence of his inappropriate behaviour”.

Sometimes...when the world spins backwards...and the sky is blue...I love my job.

One Last Glimpse,


~K

Rambling

-->

I often wish there was another way to get the thoughts out that race and trample through my mind. Romantic notions, memories, ideas, inspirations, desperations and too the silent prayer to some unseen deity that truthfully I'm not even certain if he/she/it exists or not...although I don't believe so. I don't speak to anyone in particular during a silent prayer – more like expelling hopes and wishes to the universe for them to be heard by....someone. Some thoughts I'm certain sound completely mental, but sometimes if I don't get them out I feel as if I could burst. Even if they're ramblings such as these are.

I get images of faces, and sometimes even cognitive thoughts I don't recognize and yet – I feel as if I know the faces I'm seeing. Faces that come to me in dreams, along with them feelings of comfort. Are these past lives/family/loves? They say you cannot dream of someone you've never seen before. Is that true? That seems very odd to me. The mind and imagination is so vast – and that statement and notion of only being able to dream of ones you've seen seems limiting. I don't like to be limited and restricted. It doesn't suit me well at all. I think I've felt that more so later in life than in my earlier years. 

I believe in past lives, I always have. To me, there's more proof to reincarnation than not. And often I wonder if these faces, these feelings are those past memories surfacing - even ever so briefly for me to capture a glimpse at my past and those I loved and adored and those that loved me, hopelessly.  Brothers, sisters, lovers and the like. Romantic notion resurfacing? Possibly, but it's quite in depth if that's the case.

I was raised to more or less think freely. Stretch my boundaries to their limits. Go beyond the expectation of the norm. I think I sometimes forget that, and my own fears or uncertainties creep in and I limit myself. I put boundaries and restrictions on myself. I inhibit my own creativity and become frustrated when I don't excel or reach the goals I have set for myself, or that I think I should be obtaining and achieving.

Then sometimes, such as now, when I write these things down, and I have the balls to remove the stop gap and let these words out – for you to read them...I just let go and hope you don't think I what I have to say is completely balmy. Would you though? Is it all too far fetched? Beyond believability? I often feel words are clawing to get out. But then once they're out I feel a sense of relieve and release. Strange innit? 

One Last Glimpse, 

~K

Dear Subway....

Dear Subway,

Perhaps it's my own abject stupidity that I keep coming back to you. You'd think I'd learn my lesson. But I don't. So I don't know why I'm surprised that each time my husband brings me my sub from your store that it's got more lettuce on it than need be. But it's not just that. There is so MUCH lettuce on it, that I could (if I so desired) have a side salad to go along with my sandwich. And I know he says "only a little bit of lettuce" because I've heard him say "only a little bit of lettuce". So somewhere, somehow it gets lost in translation.

Really though, it's a huge waste. I don't eat it. In fact, the moment I get my sandwich I open it up to make sure there's no unwanted items on it. And nine chances out of ten remove at least 2/3 of the lettuce from my sub. Today in fact, I'd say there was probably close to a cup of unwanted lettuce. Maybe that doesn't sound like a lot...but I'm sure it adds up. I just like to be able to taste the (in this case) tuna I'm eating underneath. Know what I mean dear readers?

I'm not normally so fussy, but seriously... come on now. If I wanted a side salad, I would go somewhere else and get one.

Just sayin'.

One Last Glimpse,

~K

Boston: Thoughts

I've sat here for a couple days staring at the screen debating what the hell I'm going to write about Boston. It's one of those things that I feel that I should write about it, that I want to write about it, but have no clue as to what to say.

I guess I should start with the fact that I've never been to Boston. I've always wanted to go, it's steeped rich in history which intrigues me - but I've never been afforded the opportunity to visit. Hopefully someday I'll get to go, I've heard its a great city.

My heart; like most people I'd suspect; has been heavy this week. It seems like so many things are all happening at once, like life is moving too fast in a blinding, surreal movement. It seems like not a moment goes past to breathe, when another mind blowing event occurs.
 
So many are quick to jump this religious group or that ideology for blame.  You can't do that, if you do that, I fear ultimately it will be our undoing. And much like the people who precipitated the attack, it will only lead to anger, rage, hatred and possibly more violence. It's of course difficult to not jump to conclusions as to who perpetrated these heinous and vicious attacks, but sadly in a case like this when none have stepped forward to assume claim; it's only assumption and presumption on our parts at this point. In the end, it doesn't matter the colour of the skin, or the religion of the person(s) behind it, or their motives. But they will be brought to justice, of that I am certain. Sadly however, it won't bring back the dead, or help heal the wounds.

It's in times like these we hold our loved ones a little closer, call that friend we haven't called in a while, and stand as a people just that little less in judgement of each other, when we are one as a race - not as country against country, or nation against nation. It's humanity, standing with humanity trying to make sense of such events. It's sad it takes a momentous event such as what has played out in Boston this last week to bring us closer together as a people.

So I, much like millions of others, stand with you fair city - my heart and thoughts are with you. 

One Last Glimpse,

~K

He wrote what?!

I'm not a big fan of today's pop music. I try to like it. I really do. I want to like it. But I just...I don't. Outside of the odd person, like P!nk for example, I find it difficult. I didn't get into the whole Gangnam Style, or Harlem Shake thing. I don't do novelty songs - okay yes, "Time Warp" from Rocky Horror Picture show is a cult exception. And maybe the odd Hokey Pokey (because it really IS what it's all about). But that's about my limit. 

Then there's Justin Bieber.... I try to support Canadian acts. Even if I don't like them per se, I never got into "The Hip" aka The Tragically Hip, but I'd never slag on them. Of course lately Justin Bieber has been in the media with "growing pains". Lashing out at the British press while getting into a van - trying to look badass, showing up on stage 2 hours late etc, etc, etc. But this...this seriously dubs him as the King of the Fucktard Douchebags for me. I read this in a report this morning while I was cruising facebook-land. 

(the following is taken from Facebook from the Anne Frank House . But you can read about it here: canoe.ca)

 Yesterday night Justin Bieber visited the Anne Frank House, together with his friends and guards. Fans were waiting outside to see a glimpse of him. He stayed more than an hour in the museum. In our guestbook he wrote: "Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."


I'm sorry... what? Seriously?? You sir, are a fucking moron. Period. Full stop. When I first read this I thought to myself, surely they must be joking. He couldn't possibly have actually been that big of a complete moron to actually write something like that. Sadly, and unfortunately... I gave him too much credit. Optimistic girl that I am. He's an embarrassment in my opinion. 

Maybe it's supposed to be a joke that I'm taking way too seriously. Then again...maybe he's not taking what she and her family went through; what everyone during the war went through; seriously enough. He needs to learn some respect. 

Words to the wise to you Mr. Bieber - You have to give respect, to get respect there Junior. Until you figure that out, you won't last.

One Last Glimpse,

~K



 

The ABC's of me

A - Available = Not in many, many moons

B - Birthday = June 5, 1971 : I will be 42 this year.

C - Crushing On = John Taylor... and Gerrard Butler, Dave Gahan, David Bowie, Michael Shanks, James Marsters....oh yea and my hubby. LOL

D - Drink You Last Had = Tim Horton's Hot Chocolate about 2 minutes ago

E - Easiest Person To Talk To = Friends/Hubby

F - Favorite Color = Teal

G - Grades In School = Average - although I excelled in Music, History and English.

H - Hometown = Sarnia, Ontario, Canada

I - In Love With = My husband

J - Jealous Of = No one / nothing that I can think of.

K - Killed Someone = Not today Mr. Weasley...

L - Love Who = Didn't I answer this already??

M - Milkshake Flavor = Strawberry (Honestly, I don't like any other types of shakes)

N - Never Have I Ever = Met a bassist I didn't like. ;)

O - One Wish = Financial Stability

P - Person Who Called You Last = A wrong number earlier at work

Q - Question You're Always Asked = Is there something wrong with that pump? (work) What's for dinner? (home)

R - Reason To Smile = Hubby, Kids, Friends, Music

S - Song You're Listening To = Nothing at the moment, watching telly.

T - Time You Woke Up = Late morning

U - Unforgettable Moment = Something I'd rather not discuss, it's in the past and I will never EVER do it again.

V - Very Best Friend(s) = I've been blessed with very good, dear, loving friends. You know who you are. I don't need to name them.

W - Worst Habit = Mindless eating

X - X-Rays You've Had = Ankle...and 2 ultrasounds

Y - Last Time You Cried = A few weeks ago watching Les Miserables, although I'm fairly certain if I had let a dream go much longer the other night I probably would have woken up crying.

Z - Zodiac Sign = Gemini

 

 

 

Fun this week with the Gasbar Glamazon

This week at work has just been chaos and fuckedville since Monday. I didn't work yesterday, and I'm glad I didn't. 

I got to work on Monday, and my boss informs me that our debit/credit had been down in the morning earlier, but it seemed after about 10am it was fine (I was working 12-4). Around 3:30pm it started slowing down and timing out. I knew trouble was brewing.

I spoke to a regular who came in for cigarettes who works across the street and she said that their debit had been sluggish and wonky as well. We both chalked it up to the fact that they had just started construction on our road and thought perhaps someone had hit something they shouldn't have. A few minutes later, just as I had switched with my replacement, it went from being slow and sluggish to not working at all. Inside...or out at the pumps. Chaos ensued. 

I stayed for about a half hour to try to help my co-worker to get through her customers between telling them it was "cash only" and putting up signs in the torrential downpour. Eventually she told me our boss (her Mom) was on the way to help her out, so I left. I guess we were without debit until sometime yesterday (Tuesday). 

I arrived today, only to see my co-worker (a different one) struggling with the debit machine. FAAAAABULOUS I thought to myself. That's just swell. After a little bit of a reset though, all seems well. (knock on wood)

Occasionally we get screwed up pumps though, people ram their card in and rip it out one too many times and the pumps lock up. So earlier today, just such a case happend, and I went out to back off the pump and put it out of order with a bright red bag (that reads "OUT OF ORDER" on it). That's when the fun began. 

Now, I know not all of our customers are english speaking. I get that. But if I were in a forgein country and I saw a bag with a big bright red bag on it,  I don't think I'd be too keen to touch it. But that's just me. The following, was a conversation had with an ENGLISH SPEAKING person, who reads and writes english quite well I would assume (according to his Doctor pass for one of the hospitals here in town).  

Me (on the PA): "Pump 4, that pump isn't working... that's why there is a red 'out of order' bag over the handle."
Dr. Idiot: "Yes?"
Me: "That pump is OUT OF ORDER." (said slower and clearer)
Dr. Idiot: "Yes I can see that..." (STILL HOLDING THE NOZZEL IN HIS HAND)
Me: "You'll have to move to another pump. The RED OUT OF ORDER bag means that the pump is not working..."
Dr. Idiot: "Why?"
Me: (Click PA off)

I swear I'm surprised I don't have a drinking problem.

One Last Glimpse,

~K